Unusual situation IMO

[supahstah133]

Hi,

 

I am new to this site and I need some feedback. I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with my ex gf. Things went really well for about a year and a half, and then I started withdrawing, becoming constantly irritable and annoyed, unaffectionate, fighting alot pretty much acting like a jerk. She finally got tired of it and broke up with me a little over a year ago. I have since gone to a psychologist, and have taken responsibility for the way I behaved. They say I have depression. I feel horrible about the way I treated her and am taking steps to not be this way anymore. I do not feel like a victim, nor do I want to be treated as such. The question I guess I have is, how do I get over losing her? It's been a year and three months and I'm firmly convinced I have no chance of finding a woman as wonderful as she, because a)I have no desirewhatsoever right now to date anyone else and b) to; and I have no confidence. I need to move on, but I'm not. I've convinced myself I'm evil, awful, stupid and even have gone through a "I must be gay" or something. This is kinda driving me nuts. I know I caused most of the problems with my behavior, but I still love her so much, and she lives half a block away from me, so I'm always wondering what she's doing. She's been with another guy for a long time, so I think I know the answer, but feedback is appreciated.

[arwen]

I think that you are not ready to have a relationship at this point. I think it's great you are seeing a psychologist for depression. The way you think about yourself needs to be changed before you can actually love someone else. Maybe it would help to talk to your ex, and tell her what happened. That might bring you more closure.

 

Getting out of a depression is a step-by-step process and by no means a linear one. It's up and down, but you will see that you will gain so much insight in yourself from this.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse