My First Breakup

[rhss]

I have been registered on these forums for a few weeks now, but i have never taken the time to tell my story.. here it is..

 

My ex-gf and I have been broken up for about 8 months offically. We had first broken up because she didnt know if she wanted to be with me. We were together for about 1.4 months. So she breaks up with me etc, while we were broken up, she ends up being with a guy that worked at my job. I broke all the rules during the break up.. i could not do the NC thing. she was being with him without me knowing *they had sex*.. but then i found out.. but took her back, but did not make her my gf. We were being with each other w/out the title for 6 months. i told her i did not want a gf, but really i did, to get back at her for doing me so dirty. but 1 day, she tells me that she's done, and she doesnt know if she could do it anymore.. i asked her to be my gf, which made things worse. we were still kinda being together even still. but then 1 day she totally ended it with me, saying she wasnt in love with me anymore etc.. I was crushed so badly, she says she was not in love with me, and she couldnt do it anymore.. I cryed my eyes out. The guy that used to work with, came back into her life. she's head over heels for him, but she only tells me that she's his "friend", which i know isnt true.were still friends, we talk every few days, i see her. but its friends only. but i still want her back. Everytime i try and hang out with her, she says i dunno, but when that guy asks her, she always says yes. I went on her myspace and see some very bad things, that made me upset *they were between her and my x coworker* here are my questions

 

1. Should i totally just not be in contact with her and forget it, and move on with my life. Or should i stick around and be her friend. I'm 50/50 on both, b/c when i ask her about things, she lies, when i know the truth, but i still wanna be with her, b/c i am still in love with her but she's not in love with me anymore. Can people fall back inlove with that person?

 

What kinda NC could i do. I have no car and sometimes i need a ride to work, and she's the only person i could call. I like her giving me rides b/c its the only time i really get to see her.

[mcnani]

NC all the way, nto even a question, NC until you fel better about yourself and happy again. because talking to her will keep you on a emotional rollercoaster that will not help you heal...it doesn't seem like she's too concerned with your feelings right now but YOU should be

[rhss]

I try,, but i get suck an erge to still wanna call her.. even for the littlest thing.

[Rabican]

Forget she ever existed... its not worth all the drama. If she cared about you the same way you cared about her you wouldnt be here posting about how she keeps not wanting to be with you, and she likes the other guy. Theres lots of fish in the sea.. this ones just not for you.

[veneratio]

That sucks, sorry about what you're going through. NC for sure. I know it's hard, but it'll be better for you in the long run. As long as she knows you're there, still wanting her, she's gonna treat you that way. Let her know you don't need her.

[Cadence308]

I agree...no contact all the way. Let her know that you don't need her. The thing I've learned about no contact that makes it work is that when you do no contact you are choosing to eliminate the person from your life because they hurt you. If they are not in your life then they cannot hurt you. It is going to hurt and it is hard. You have to do no contact for you and not just because you want her to miss you and start contacting you because that might not happen.

 

Just focus on other things right now. Immerse yourself in work (and you might want to get a car or a bike so you won't need her to give you a ride to work).

[rhss]

I was talking to her this morning and she said she would give me a second chance.. along with she kissed some guy last night.. Do i stay, but lay low in her life*as in make no effort, let her make the effort to talk to me*.. or be apart of her life.