When does it get easier?

[kittysaysmeow]

I've been in NC with my ex for 6 months. I thought I was doing great. I was moving on and not thinking about him as much as I used to.

 

Then I saw him. I was out and as we were heading to the pub I saw him outside. I didn't believe it was him at first but we circled the block to find parking and I saw him again.

 

It just crushed me. We didn't go in and just headed home. That was 2 days ago and all I can think about is him. It feels like I'm at square one again.

 

Does it ever get easier?

[LONESOUL]

Hi KSM~

NC doesn't erase the past. It just makes moving on easier. You may have felt that way regardless, having seen your ex. You say you have been doing great,thats just the NC giving you the space to do that. NC is a tool to help you heal, but it's not a magic spell to wipe away your life. It will get better when you are completely over your ex, and that only time can do.

[kittysaysmeow]

I know NC doesn't erase the past...I just thought I was over it, you know? I wasn't sad about it. I moved on. I started seeing the relationship for what it really was.

But now it's like I'm back to that place when I was sad, obsessive, worried about what he was doing.

It's just so frustrating.

[amuse]

You should of went it and not let it bother you.

[kittysaysmeow]

I would have but the break up was pretty bad. The cops got involved (I called them) and it got really complicated.

[Day_Walker]

It gets easier when you let it go

[kittysaysmeow]

How do I let go?

I though I did but apparently that didn't work.

[LONESOUL]

KSM~ I understand, my break up got bad at times as well. Those were hard times. You can't let your mind go there again, you have to keep thinking about the last 6 months, mostly the last two if you can...concentrate on what you have been doing to move your life forward and let it happen, no looking back, even if you run into your ex. Keep moving. You are okay.

You can do this.

[Day_Walker]

It is hard to say people move on different ways, obviously there were still some residual feelings on your part. Sometimes NC isnt enough it is the realization that the relationship is done and over with. I would say that you should work on yourself and find what gives you strength, so that even if you run into him you will be okay with it.

[kittysaysmeow]

Day_Walker and Lonesoul: thanks for the advice. I'll try to concentrate on myself and moving on with my life.

[LONESOUL]

Good for you. You hold the key to your own happiness.

Post often~ read lots

 

Take good care~

Lone

[SpeedingCars]

Did you ever get closure?

[Wimpy]

My ex broke up with me in April 2005. He emailed me 10 days before I was due to go visit him in his country - he'd been studying in my country and then went home.

 

He'd left Jan 2005 and the plan was I'd go see him in April and we'd discuss the future.

 

Anyhow, I was GUTTED and totally desperate and thought my life was over. Fast-forward to now. 2006 has been a GREAT year. I'm happy being me, happy doing my own thing and had a great year at work, a great Summer vacation and have gone back to being ME (rather than the weak and pathetic person I was at the end).

 

So, fast forward to last week - what would have been the 3rd annivesary of when we got together. BANG! All of a sudden I was down again and feeling blue - wondering why he'd done it, how could he do it blah blah blah.

 

The only difference was that it lasted a day or so and then passed.

 

It takes a long time to recover and along the way you will hit the odd "landmine". 6 months was a turning point mentally but believe me it DOES get better.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself - you will look back on this in a while and realise that it's been x weeks/months whatever and you haven't thought about him.

 

Not sure if it helps but wanted to share...

[kittysaysmeow]

Did you ever get closure?

 

No. Not really. I just found out yesterday that he added me on his msn again (we mutually blocked each other). I was just curious one day and was checking to see who had me on their list...and then I saw his email. I was really floored. My stomach dropped.

 

So, of course, I added him back to see what he wanted. But his icon didn't show up so he must have deleted my msn just not blocked it. So...he basically added me and deleted me (this must have happened this week since last week his name wasn't there).

 

I want to be in a place in which I won't care if he adds me again or if I see him out in public. It's been such a slow process. It's seriously driving me nuts.