You are not alone but niether are you helpless

[Skippy]

You are not alone but niether are you helpless!

realise to able to move on from where you are, YOU will need to make your own DECISIONS! and to accept the consequences of those decisions.

It may hurt alittle but you will be able to move on.

 

Sitting there whining and not doing anything makes you a victim, 'helpless'. You choose not to move or to grow. Eventually people around will get tired of it and move on away from you. THey aren't to blame YOU are.

 

SO you have a choice. TO move or not to move, but remember you are not alone until you choose to be helpless then no one can help you.

[robowarrior]

trueer words like this may have never been spoken, but what have you accomplished in your life?

[Emotional]

I agree!!

 

everything you do, do it for you, nobody else!!

 

other than moping around the house eating ben and jerrys ice cream...

I got off of my hiney and went out christmas shopping, I didn't think of him once, ok im lieing, I thought about him a little, but not nearly as much as I would be if im not up and adam!

 

Well I also realize im still wanted... I went to the gym....since I chose to go, I got asked out to go dancing! So there ya go...

 

Just an example of what can be happening other than moping around!!

 

Its no bueno...

[Momene]

There's a lot of truth in that. Many people come on here asking for us to validate the decisions that they make. I don't have a problem with that but would if someone said 'You told me to dump him and I wished I hadn't". Whatever advice we give, it is up to the poster to make the final choice.

 

I also agree that most people shy away from victims, except for those who are attracted to them in order to feel "useful".

 

Where it is sometimes not cut and dried is that there are some things that we don't have a choice about. For example, if we are in our 20s and poor, we can do more about it than if we're in our 80s and poor. Now I'm the first one to tell people to move on in they have an unsatisfactory relationship in which there's no commitment but what if there are dependents involved? Can you make a career choice that would leave you and your family homeless?

 

To relate my own story, I had a really bad 2004. I escaped divorce, unemployment and homelessness by the skin of my teeth. People were not very sympathetic, even those who I'd given my support to in the past. Things are better than they were but I still have this undercurrent of isolation.

[freedom]

momene. i think the point is, things happen in our live that are good and bad. When the bad happens there are a 2 things that we can do.

Sit and whine(become helpless) or do somehing about it. There is always an action that we oursselves can do to move from a situation. Whether it is life changing or just a mental re-adjustment (the way we see it), it is the actual mental decision to do something that makes us move on from the situation that at times we are in.

For example, your 2004 ordeal, you had to make some really hard decisions which helped you move on from that situation. (successfully i am gald to hear) If you didnt make those hard decisions you would be in a worst off situation.

I think the point is, in the end the only person that can change anything is yourself but you have to be willing to do just that, make a decision, CHANGE.

[Momene]

Sometimes change involves risk, such as to relationships or financial stability. Sometimes you have to accept that some things are carp and you have to accept them because the change can be even more damaging.

[Skippy]

trueer words like this may have never been spoken, but what have you accomplished in your life?

 

the realization that we are not victims unless we allow ourselve to become victims.

Decisions has to be made to get out of a situation, outcomes may be good or bad which is irrigradeless because i got strenght from making decisions and moved from being a victim to a fighter.

 

What have you accomplished in your life?