Got A Text !!!!

[kickedin]

AFTER MY LONG EMAIL SHE SENT TWO TEXTS.....

 

 

i am sorry for all i said your email hurt pretty bad but i know mine hurt you too just hope you can forgive me as a christian and see beneath my words i am very let down about alot of things and i m just trying to get to a place of stability and peace i am praying that we will one day forgive and move on believe me if i believed that you would understand i would have talked to you face to face but you shut out my needs from the beginning and i know you didnt mean it, anyway i dont want us to be enemies i have so much pain and dissappointment i always longed for someone to see me you couldnt and we have to accept please pray for me i need it i am not a bad person xxxxxx all i ever wanted was sincerity and understanding i lost that in you i am truly seeking victory over this if i could only believe that you cared i would have talked to you well i just want to get this off my chest i am sorry i m damaged for now and need to move on to a solid place friday night was a bad night now i am regretting crying out guess it was wrong all i want is for you to read this

 

 

i then get a second text 6 minutes later

 

my intention was for you to hear the pain dep inside that i am wrestling not to hurt you but you are right i know not to feel sorry god will bless obediance and i am being good i was just worn out friday and sick and angry that you acted confused to my mom but i have to accept it all and let you feelyour own way and move on XXXXX I HAVE BEEN LONGING FOR PEACE AND SOMEONE I COULDTRUST LIKE I CAN BE TRUSTED I AM REAL AND HONEST i deserve that in the one who loves me well sorry again please take care

 

 

 

 

i didnt respond and i wont but i guess she was baiting me saying i didnt care or understand

[Lady Bugg]

Kicked...Been following your posts. It seems like she is trying to give you closure. I don;t think she is baiting you at all....and I personally see nothing wrong with sending back a quick "thank you for explaining that to me.I appreciate it....I wish you all the best"....and leave it at that.

 

No need to have bad feelings hanging in the air..and that's what I think she was attempting to do.

Just my take.

[DN]

She may be baiting you but more likely she is trying to convince herself that she is not a bad person.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i don't think she is baiting you either... i think she just has an opinion, that you didn't offer her the understanding and caring that she felt she needed... that could be a valid feeling, or it could be an invalid feeling, i.e., what she expects she will get from nobody...

 

when breaking up with someone, one can debate every little thing the other person said as being wrong and continue to fan the flames of anger, or accept that it just didn't work out, and the way the two of you were meshing together was not healthy for either of you.

 

so at this point, it is probably best to just let it rest, since you would probably just be rehashing the same things again, with both of you at opposite poles and not giving the other person what they need, which is to move on so that you both find people who love you and say GOOD things about you, rather than rehashing old injuries or incompatabilities.

[kickedin]

She may be baiting you but more likely she is trying to convince herself that she is not a bad person.

 

 

jackpot

 

 

she still is attacking me in a suttle way shes a mess and she needs this time...i am done giving her security

[kickedin]

bipolar! she is

[kickedin]

just done with it all

[Lady Bugg]

Kicked.....this is by no means an attack on you. I don't know you...just what you have written and your responses.

 

In MY opinion it seems as if you will never be happy with whatever reply you get or DON'T get from your ex. If she doesn;t reply...you can;t believe she can NOT bother to contact you..and when she does...you attempt to twist

whatever she is telling you into something YOU think she means.

 

Truth be told..your ex does not owe you ANYthing at this point. You are no longer together...and from what I have read you two are extremely incompatible..and unhealthy for each other. It is almost as if you feed off the drama. THAT is NOT what love is all about.......that is CO DEPENDENCY.

My suggestion is to STOP worrying about your ex.....leave the past in the past..and move ON. Let it go.

[kickedin]

i agree with you to a point......"when she says i know you didnt mean it anyway" in her text about my email.....isnt that her twisting what i said......like i said before i never stood up to her for fear of losing her and i dont care (in one sense) because i couldnt live like this

 

thanks for your posts i have been confused about this for awile

[jessicake]

from what i have read from your threads and from her texts to you,.. it seems she is quite self-righteous.

 

she also seems to be quite insecure and i agree with DN that she may be trying to convince herself that she is a good person. Which is most likely true.. however she definitely seems to have some deep issues with herself! i wish her and you the best.

 

good luck with healing! it seems that you are doing quite well already!

[honeyspur]

I agree with Ladybugg. I think she is explaining herself quite clearly and am amazed at her honesty about herself.

What I am beginning to see from these texts you send back and forth to each other, is that you are both two sides of the same coin.

Meaning you have similar issues and constantly play off of each other. You both seem very insecure and unsure of yourselves. Perhaps this is what keeps you both hanging on? An innate understanding of each other?

 

I think it is a good decision to not answer her back and I think in no way is she "baiting" you. She needs time and space and at least you know she cares because she is starting to open up more in these texts.

 

If you are able to break this cycle you are both spinning in - perhaps she will be able to heal enough to return to you a changed woman. I suggest releasing anger and judgement on her, since those feelings are a choice.

I would also pay attention to the things she has said that bothered her in the relationship. I'm not saying that you necessarily did any of the things she said you did, I'm just saying it was her experience - it was true for her.

People really are not self-riteous or manipulative - those are just tools and defenses they use (as we all have at one time or another) when in doubt or fear. The true nature of people is good and loving and they sheild that when they feel let down or taken advantage of.

 

Good luck and keep posting.

[kickedin]

true.......i am letting go no matter how much i love her and yes fear and hurt causes these actions.... thanks guys

[kickedin]

I AM HAVING AN OVERWHELMING FEELING TO REPLY BACK TO THESE TEXTS SAYING THAT I FORGIVE HER AND I AM SORRY IF I HURT HER AND THAT ALTHOUGH WE ARENT SEEING EYE TO EYE FOR WHATEVER REASON THIS IS WHERE WE ARE.......DO I LIKE IT NO DO I MISS HER YES I WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT

 

 

 

i i guess it does seem we have a push pull.......i am hurting so bad just want to hug her