My Internal Battle...Please help

[capricorn85]

Hello everyone! I love you guys so much and want to thank you for the advice I've received from you all in the past. I am back now...and I feel like I am fighting myself! Basically my last relationship ended over a year ago with an ex, he dumped me, I was depressed and then decided that I need to work on ME and get my life back in order. Now I am in my frist relationship since the breakup. But I am fighting a BATTLE. I tend to over analyze everything my boyfriend does and it's only hurting me. Whenever his phone rings off saying 'new message' I think about who it could be and what he's saying in returning. Whenever he logs onto thefacebook I wonder who is writing on his walls or sending him messages! I am trying to not let the past issues affect this relationship and I have moved past my ex and no longer have feelings for him, but everything my ex has done to me, I expect my new boyfriend to do. I want to be able to fully trust him and not drive myself crazy...what can I do to prevent these impulses? I don't want to mess this up...

[x_OhSoTragic]

I love your signature. if only the people who replied to my post would put that in context.

Well, my dear, I know that I'm very young but I tend to analyze things also. and that's half the reason why me and my most recent boyfriend split up. All I can really say is dont let it get to out of hand, because im a very jealous person and when i analyze something and it turns out to be somehting i dont like, ll act on it, only to find out that it wasnt what I thought.

So just think before your actions, kay?

[2tragic]

I know how hard this is. I have been thru a relationship with someone holding on to issues from a past relationship.

 

Think of how terrible that last relationship was, and how lucky you are to have finally gotten the strength to end it. You never want that again, right?

 

Try your hardest not to recreate another turbulent situation. Learn from the past and know what to look for a "red flags". Missed calls are not red flags......think about it, everyime you get a missed call, is it from another guy?

 

If so, maybe you still need somemore time being single.

 

But if not, then you can apply that logic to everytime you get a ting of insecurity about your new guy's personal life. Respect his privacy and he will respect yours. If you can facilitate that basic element of your relationship, then Trust, should not be a problem.

 

Good luck.. I hope I can say encouraging things. I am trying to find my way thru similar issues in my own relationship.

[Satsuma]

I agree with 2tragic. And x_OhSoTragic people were nice to you, you just swore at us.

[capricorn85]

Thank you so much *sigh* it's so hard! Like right now I am wondering what he is doing and why he hasn't called me back. I DON'T want this to be a repeat of my past relationship...that would suck!