Christmas Thoughts, Confusion about Exes

[Mstyiyd]

With the holidays approaching, I'm sure alot of us are being reminded of past and current relationships. I've been talking to my ex for about 3 months now, after 5 months of NC (she hung up on me after a phone call). The big thing with us was that in her mind, we were never really together even tho we acted like we were for over a yr, with a friendship that preceeded that and then one after. There's def been some bumps along the way.

 

Since we reconnected, it's about us being "friends". She continues to say to me, on and off, don't read into us, etc etc. She's the one hung up on this, not me. Haven't made a move on her or anything in almost 2 yrs. Been doing the just friends thing, even tho i still have feelings for her. I'm respectful.

 

When the lines get blurred, it's hard when things like the holidays roll around. Xmas is next wkend, and I don't expect to spend that with her.

 

The odd thing is, she wanted to go in together to get one of her family members' a gift. She makes money, why she didn't get her own gift is beyond me. And since I'm prob not going to be there....you know? I didn't know if I should get her anything, since we're not together & you don't always get your friends a gift, but I heard from a reliable source that she did get me a gift, a ticket to an upcoming concert. Surprised, bec it was @ $65 and it's with a bunch of her family too. I don't know when she is going to tell me about it, tho I'm gonna act surprised. She also wants to spend New Year's together, go out of town sightseeing. I guess friends can do that, but it's weird, since she's a big partier usually.

 

She and I have spent alot of time together in the past couple months. From past exp with her, that could change in a heartbeat. She hasn't dated anyone in over 2yrs and neither have I. We're trying to have a friendship, but it's weird. She has slept over alot too, and at first she brought a sleeping bag into my house and slept on the couch. Then the sl.bag moved upstairs to my bedroom, and she slept in that ON my bed while I slept like a normal person in my bed. The past few times, she hasn't brought the bag into my house, she left it in the car. Slept in my bed next to me, no touching.

 

I think that she's crossing alot of boundaries and I'm stupid bec I let her. But I don't get why she is doing this if we're supposed to be just friends. I don't do these things with my other friends.

 

I'm probably going to give her several small gifts, not expensive ones. That seems to be the most appropriate way to handle it. Oh well, we shall see what happens......what do other ppl do when it comes to exes who are now "friends"?

[Caldus]

We aren't really "ex's" (open relationship ex's), but we're still giving each other gifts. It's really up to you how you want to do it in my opinion.

[Mstyiyd]

are you still good friends? Do you still have feelings for her? I'm pretty satisfied with what I'm gonna give her, just don't want to make it too personal. I don't want it to come back on me down the road...

[Caldus]

Yeah, but we don't see each other as much anymore. =(

 

And yes, very much. But hopefully it will die out over time.

 

Don't worry about making it too personal. That's what gifts are about ... simply giving and receiving. Doesn't have to mean anything serious, right?

[Mstyiyd]

That's cool....I think I'm a pretty generous person and she knows that, I give gifts just because...as long as it's appropriate. I'm sorry it hasn't worked out for you sucks. But I guess we gotta believe it means there's someone out there who's better for us. What do you think about all the other stuff I posted that she does? There's alot of boundary crossing and I don't know why.