Question about NC: message boards

[dnozzle]

OK, my relationship is over, and I do feel like I have finally let go of it. I want to do this completely right though, so I have a question.

 

I met my ex on a very active message board where we both have posted for over 7 years. We have a lot of mutual virtual friends there, and have often gotten and given advice there on everything from relationship to financial advice, or just fun stuff.

 

I know that she is still there reading things, although she is posting a lot less. I have dropped off posting completely, and am unsure about whether or not I should return to that forum. I do not visit her personal board anymore, or read any of her messages. But what I am wondering is if seeing stuff there from me will give her the window into my life that will keep her content with info and not want to come back when and if she is ever ready.

 

How would you handle NC in situations like this?

[DN]

I doubt that seeing what you are doing with your life will influence her decision to come back one way or the other. She will come back if she decides she loves you enough to do that.

 

Your best bet is to assume that she will not and move on with your life without her.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

if you find the forum useful, then change your username and she won't know it is you. or just go ahead and post if you want to, and continue your life as it is, without her in it...

 

i don't think that seeing your posts will keep her content not to contact you... they are probably irrelevant, i.e., she is not contacting you because she doesn't want to... i think that what you are trying to say is that you hope NC will make her miss you so much that she will contact you...

 

but that is not the purpose of NC, to manipulate someone's feeling. NC is all about YOU getting over her by NOT feeding the fire of false hope by contacting her and trying to keep false hope alive...

 

so if you want to post, don't do it in reference to her at all... move on with your life, and do things that make you happy, and factor her out of the equation... if she wanted to call, she would...

[heloladies21]

But what I am wondering is if seeing stuff there from me will give her the window into my life that will keep her content with info and not want to come back when and if she is ever ready.

She will make the same decision regardless of this. And you want to be right out in the open because you don't want her just to come back to you because there is mystery as to your life as this effect is only temporary and she would dump you again once it wore off.

 

So in the end feel free to post, but if you feel that reading her posts will hold you back then I would find a different forum or real life group.