I Don't Really Have Any Friends...

[GetFighted]

Yeah, title says it all. Allow me to explain...

 

I have this friend, Emily. She came to my school about two years ago and we clicked, immedietly. We were just insperable, for a while. Since we've began this school year though, nothing's the same. She's too busy with all her other friends to invite me to her house, or hang out with me. Whenever I invite her to do something, she's always "busy". She says we're best friends, but we're definitly not tight like we used to be.

 

To make matters worse, I don't really have any other friends. I have Brianna, who moved away over the summer. We're much closer than Emily and I ever were, but I don't see her as often. We still keep in contact, but she has lots of new friends now. Brianna and Emily are outgoing, and I can be shy, sometimes. I'm really only quiet when I'm around adults.

 

All of Emily's friends just ignore me. I'm friendly to everyone, and I'd like to make new friends, but it's not easy seeing as everyone is already in their cliques or whatever. If I could, I'd join some sort of extracurricular activity, but there just aren't any. I go to a small, crappy public school that has no clubs or teams or anything. I'm not really good at anything, so I could never join a sports team. Plus I know my parents wouldn't want to deal with transporting me from A to B, and would do their best to dissuade me if I were to ever suggest such a thing. I'm too young to get a job, and I've got another year until I can be a Candy Striper (which is something I've been wanting to do for a long time).

 

I hate listening to my classmates talking about sleeping over at each others' houses, or going to the mall, while I have no one. I'm the quiet girl sitting in the corner, with the glasses and greasy face that tries to talk and be heard, but unfortunately, no one listens. No really, I will say something and everyone will just not hear me. Such things bother me.

 

So, er, help? Please?

[robowarrior]

You are in a though spot, however no reason to feel sorry for yourself. What isn't there, has to be created. It seems that you feel that you are sending out the wrong signals towards your environment, sadly the earth is filled with darkness and hatred, and most of the times it isn't a place where people love and accept you unconditionally. Strong people wouldn't care what other think of their looks because they love,support and believe in themselves. However lonelyness is a very difficult thing, i will get back on that later.

 

You are in a very volunerable position , you need to prevent that your life will get de-railed, because of the drastic measures you might take in order to forfill your needs of friendship. Keep your train on the right track.

 

What i suggest is a make-over. Get lenses, have your hair long and loose, put some decent make up on, don't turn yourself in a * * * * *, but rather try to be glamourus , because appealing looks will attract more people. Not that those kind of people are real friends tho. You need to be like a castle gate only opening yourself to good people/things/events, and close yourself to bad people/things/events. You know often it can be like searching for a needle in a haystack, but real friends are out there. Thing is, that its all shallow, they don't want to be with you for who you are, but for what you posses.

 

You know what i want to prevent is you becoming a dreadfull person, and i want you to bring your life into calmer waters. You really need to be carefull not to damage yourself with the decisions you make, further more about contacting people.

 

I had the same thing about the lonelyness, one night i had a dream where i saw my uncle, i talked to him about my lonelyness and in that dream he replied 'if you don't want to be alone, you have to step towards the people ' , lol best advice id ever had in a dream.

 

So im going to say the same thing to you, step towards the people, what has being shy ever gained you? Throw it away and make contact. Ask to come along to the mall, or any other activities that are positive and constructive for your social experiences.

[GetFighted]

Well, thanks for the suggestions. I would get contacts, except I'm only 13 and my mom won't let me. I would let my hair down, except my mother makes me have it in braids all the time. I'd wear some natural-looking make-up, but my mother won't let me wear anything other than lip gloss. I'd buy some new clothes, except my parents are always telling my I have no style or taste, so I have to wear what they like to get them off my back.

 

Basically I'm just waiting until I can make some money somewhere, so i can buy my own things. I honestly can't wait to start working.

 

Thanks for the advice and suggestions, though. I'll make sure to talk to new people tomorrow. I'll have to take your Uncle's advice. =D

[Weeblie]

First...I agree with Robowarrior and I wish you luck with trying to make new friends.

 

But I have to say your post kind of scares me because it reminds me of how I was when I was your age. Instead of making my own choices I listened way too much to my mother. And I really regret it because I never learned to stand up for myself. I think that you really need to be more assertive to your parents.

 

Or at least develop a sense of what you want for yourself. If you don't want to wear braids...don't. If you want to pick out your own clothes...do it. Say something to your parents about it. You're 13 years old. You're old enough to make decisions about your hair and clothes. I mean I'd understand complaints from your parents if you wanted to wear belly shirts and hot pants, but it's unreasonable to say that you can't pick out your own clothes because you have no style.

 

Please don't be so passive about little things like that. It'll hold you back in so many ways. Don't wait till you're older or can afford things. Why suffer if you don't have to?

[nicolasa]

Of course not being heard bothers you! First of all, you are very articulate for a 13 year old girl! I am an art teacher at a middle school, so I know!

Do you write alot? I was a loner when I was your age, too. And smarter than most (ha!) Might I suggest that you work on your appearance first. Finding an attractive look you feel comfortable with. This will help you feel better about yourself--more confident. Then, missy, make yourself heard!!!!!

Don't allow yourself to be ignored! This says to others that you value yourself and they will listen. They'd better or I'll come down there and beat 'em all up for you! Keep your head up and have a good week, dear.