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She wouldn't give him money so he started trashing his room.

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I'm begging anyone for advice about my 19 year old brother. He has been living with my grandparents since the age of 16 and has only had one job of which he got fired.

He is always taking money from my nan to go out about 2 or 3 times a week. Like £20 ($40) and saying that he can't stand being in the house. He talks to my nan like she is a piece of dirt and today he did it infront of me.

I've been having problems at work so I've been talking to my nan and phoning home in my breaks. He came in asked her for money when we were ordering pizza. She said she couldn't aford it (I was paying for half the pizza). So he said 'Your all a bunch of P****' and stormed out the room.

I was discusted by the way he spoke to the woman that takes care of him so I went up and told him he shouldn't speak to her like that. Then he started saying that I shouldn't call the police out on him the one time all my computer and ps2 games got stolen which I didn't. The police thought it was him and said if i took it any further he would go to prison so I refused to press charges.

He said that all I do is cry about work and he doesn't know the situation. So he yelled at me and started trashing his room.

My little sister is staying over till monday and she was scared by all the noise. We just can not deal with him and I'm begging someone for some advice on what to do.

Thank you,


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If he is 19 and treating everyone in the house like that its time for tough love. Maybe he should move out and support himself for a while, then he would appreciate all your nan is doing for him.


This post should be in parenting and families or even abuse and violence... it would probally get more replies that way.

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I really agree that perhaps it is time he stood on his own for a while in order that he might appreciate those that love and care for him far more than he is doing so at the moment.


My son is also very demanding and manipulative and abusive. He is also a bully to me. He is bigger than me and uses his masculinity and height to intimidate me, but today I stood my ground. He wanted money...again and I refused despite his torrent of abuse.


So he went out.


Let them find out the hard way. Don't give in and eventually they will exhaust everyone else's goodwill too and then they will start to take some responsibility for their own life, their own actions and their future.

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The other two posters are dead on. If you are living with someone as an unemployed adult and being supported by them- you are already taking advantage- but your gran is letting him get away with it. She needs to show him a little authority and tell him he has 30 days to get his act together, get a job and start paying some rent, show her the respect she deserves as an adult, his grandparent, and the woman supporting him- or he can get out.


There is no need for her to accept that kind of abusive behavior from him. Talk to your gran and see what she says.

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I think you need to have a serious talk with the grand parents and let them know that its in his best interest to get him out of the house. He needs to grow up, now and learn some respect. If hes gonna accuse them of being a bunch of whatevers... then he can do it from out on the street. I would never stand for that, never ever.

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