Honesty

[easyguy]

Would you consider yourself to be an honest person? (Be honest

 

I used to be one of the biggest liers, especially to my parents, but soon realized how much of a weight that adds to my well-being. Honesty cleans your window and creates no walls. Lying causes the build-up of shame and guilt over time. It is obviously very difficult to be honest all the time, but it is a foolproof method to feeling happier.

[flower99]

Good observation.

 

I used to lie a lot, Now I am a lot more honest (try to be anyways) but I notice I still lie to some friends, rather than just saying i really don't feel like hanging out...I make excuses & make something up. And you're right, I feel guilty & have to remember who I lied to & when so I don't contridict myself. The more I lie, the heavier the weight to carry.

Being honest, means carrying a lighter load. It really does leave you feeling better about oneself & happier.

[Newo Ikkin]

I'm a liar with a lot of things, to people who don't matter. When I do lie to the people who mean something, its often to keep them from harm. Stupid really, and ironic..

[jengh]

I am an extremely honest person, with the exception of small white lies (friend: does this shirt make me look fat? me: no, of course not) and little ones to my parents (parents: did you go to class today me: yes! always!). I used to lie quite a bit, but little by little I've matured to the point where i finally rarely lie about anything at all

[Juliana]

No. People with Borderline Personality Disorder have emotional inhibition; they cannot always identify or express their feelings. thereforeeee, they have a weak sense of who they are. They try, then, when they are with other people, to identify their feelings and communicate them in a way that is consistent with who they are, but sometimes it's more of a "best guess" scenario, than the actual truth, much as they would like to know what their true feelings and personality are.

 

They also find themselves lying to express the truth about a situation in a way that a factual description would not; for example, a Borderline who was pushed on the subway might react very badly to that, but understands that when she gets home, her spouse is not going to relate her extreme emotional reaction to such a slight (in his eyes) event. In order to guarantee his understanding and support, she will tell him a lie: That she was shoved hard and knocked down. The Borderline frequently feels that communicating emotions is more important than communicating fact, and if they need understanding badly enough, they'll lie to get it.

[itsallgrand]

Juliana, you rock. You continue to help me with your posts.

She is right, ya know.

Though I do believe, that with greater understanding and a whole hell of a lot of hard work, we folks can overcome it and change.

 

As for the original question, I know I lie a lot. I call it a 'liberal tongue'. Funny enough, it is a quality that also aids in getting to the emotional meat of a what a person is saying - regardless of words or not. I find myself in person to be very sensitive to the emotional tones and messages of other people. Sometimes, reacting in socially inappropriate and off-center ways, yet also sometimes picking up on what others do not.

It has helped me in my work often. Though, as I now pursue other lines of work, it can be a real serious hindrance.

 

It is amazing how we filter what we 'hear' according to what we are listening for.

No one is immune. Probably not even the Buddha! He was a guy.

 

Of course, honesty is good. I'm not arguing that.