Interest - lost. I feel so hurt.

[Lily04]

the guy i liked.....I think he might have lost interest in me. Do you think it sounds like he moved on? I feel hurt. I played with his emotions as well, I was hot/cold with him because I couldn't trust him although we just started dating...I met him a little over a week ago. We had one date, it went really well. But then he asked me out last weekend and I sorta brushed him off, said i was way too busy but didn't follow up really. I felt like I had to slow things down, I couldn't trust him...thought he just wanted sex. He made that suspicion more difficult by putting his status on Facebook (something like myspace) as being 'single' and looking for "random play." I shouldn't take that too seriously, however.

 

In any case, we chatted a bit a few days ago, almost flirtatiously. but nothing really before then.

 

but then recently i started to really like him again, despite having some suspicions about the 'player' vibes he was giving off. So, I decided to ask him out today just to hang out and do whatever together....because I'd like to get to know him better.

 

He said he's planning on studying today with a friend for one of his exams but he will message me sometime last night to clarify what time we can get together, once he knows when they're going to be done. I said that's fine.

 

I was online quite a bit last night, he didn't seem online at all.

 

He also knows my e-mail address and phone number, and didn't try to get in contact for today. Then I was just online for almost an hour and his status was 'online' on MSN and he did not contact me at all.

 

I feel really hurt and insulted by this. I know I probably precipitated it by acting hot/cold on him...I even deleted him on MSN last weekend and then added him again (which he probably knows i'm not sure how that works exactly) because i was thinking about him so much I couldn't concentrate. He likely interprets his as loss of interest. But i still really like him.....

 

Should I forget about him? It seems like he's moved on....i'm so sad.

[Lily04]

can someone please reply?? it is driving me nuts....

 

btw this was the guy i was referring to in the previous thread of mine... the guy who i thought had a gf (but he said he doesn't.)

[Caterina]

Don't go crazy over this guy, you barely know him. It sounds like you are overanalyzing. Play it cool. He may come around, but if he doesn't, so what? There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[Lily04]

Thanks, yeah you're right. Maybe he even senses the desperation and got turned off. who knows. it's also hard to tell if someone lost interest over msn sometimes...harder than in person.

[Caterina]

Maybe he senses desperation, maybe he doesn't. Don't sweat it. It might be nothing...and even if it is, don't allow it to preoccupy your thoughts when you could actually be having fun instead of torturing yourself with speculations.

[Clementine orange]

Argh, I hate that "hot and cold" thing that women do. Totally destructive and manipulative. I also think that over analysis of this particular situation is not good good idea at this point.

[Lily04]

Right. He's out of my thoughts now.

[kiwifly]

Lily, I wouldn't jump to conclusions so fast. He mentioned he's studying for exams, so most likely he's really busy with that. I know during exam time I barely socialize, and same goes for my friends. Plus with studying for exams on his mind he might have innocently forgotten. I wouldn't give up on him just yet. Be patient and see what happens when he's done with his exam.

[Lily04]

really? but he doesn't really seem the studious type......although he is in his last yr of law school so maybe he's starting to feel compelled? He helped me on my polisci essay the day before his tax exam this week for 2 hrs. when he should have been studying...and we flirted a bit then, it was cute. But then...yesterday he was sorta cold as well. I was like "hey" and he was like "hello, Lily." and sorta... distant.

 

Maybe exams are getting to him? that was only one day difference so i didn't think his feelings for me could change so much.....but who knows. I'm just going to stop thinking about him. I'm a bit sad that he didn't call, but whatever....lots of fish in the sea, etc...

[Batya33]

If you get this attached after one week I would reconsider whether you have enough of a thick skin to be dating.

[kiwifly]

Maybe this exam is one he's worried about so he'd want to study and put more effort into this one? Only he knows what's really going on, but I'm confident that this is due to exam time stress, esp if he's in his last year.

 

From what you said in your last thread, I don't see this guy as losing interest in you so fast. I mean, you'd have to have done something really mean or revolting to turn him off so fast!

 

If you really can't wait to hear from him and would like to do something about it, then send him an email. Jokingly mention how you guess exams come before girls this time around, wish him luck and mention how you'd like to meet up after he's done. It wouldn't hurt to try!

[Lily04]

hey kiwi,

 

thanks so much hon!! you always have good advice. but I think I'm starting to come off as being desperate, so I'm only going to wait for HIM to message/call ME (if he does), otherwise I'm not going to contact him... and c'est la vie...

 

I am off to study myself now, so I'll check replies tomorrow (if any.)

 

Thx again,

 

Lily