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inlove with my bestfriend (girl)


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Maybe she doesn't talk to you about guys cos she doesn't want you to think she's all about guys and there's not chance of having a female crush...I know I never talk about guys with my girl, never have done really, and probably never will. For me, I never talked about guys cos in the back of my mind I never wanted to tell her I was straight or come accross as straight by talking about lads all the time. Maybe that's what she's doing?

 

It's good you saw no flirting or anything, I think she was just getting you back for leaving her that day.

 

Just work your way back into her trust and I don't think anything will happen between her and her ex.

 

keep us updated

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We went out yesterday, nothing happened ( no signs or anything ) we just had a good time hanging out. As i said earlier we, we talk everyday and when i phoned her i asked "what have you been doing" and she replied "waiting and waiting for someone to call" and i was like "oh is this a bad time' and she said "no its ok because im talking to them RIGHT NOW"

 

Im taking things slow at the moment..

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Oh, come on, she has given all the possible clues without coming out of the closet!

 

You know what usually happens in that situation? The other person feels rejected, and eventually starts to distance, as they get tired of the constant rejection.

 

I don't mean that you are being rude to her, but the not doing anything attitude is a form of rejection, specially after she has given you all those clues.

 

Please, if you don't want to do it for you, do it for me. Go and tell her how you feel, please. I've been in that position before, and I don't want that for anyone else, it hurts, hurts a loot and deeply.

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things arent going well at the moment. she is in hospital, she's sick and the doctors dont know what is wrong with her. Im so worried, i just hope she is going to be okay, thats all i want right now. i found out this morning she was in hospital, and as soon as i heard i went there right away. i spent all day there with her, until the visiting hours were over. Shes coping extremelly well, im probably the one that is scared and breaking down lol

 

Im going in tomorrow morning to visit her again. Just hope and pray that everything will be okay.

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hey everyone she is out now, and everything is okay shes good. So im really happy.

 

At the moment im getting the impression that she has no feelings for me whatsoever. During the weekend i went to a party and its really stupid, i got a bit tipsy and hooked up with this random guy there. She found out, and i ended up telling her as well. She didnt react to it, she was just normal about it. And i thought she was going to be angry with me or something because if she had anything for me.. she would get jealous right? i odnt know, what do you guys think ? ... am i just thinking too much

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i feel so frustrated at the moment. Lastnight i dont know how i was feeling and i didnt talk to her much, didnt make much conversation. Then she was trying to talk to me heaps, making cute little comments stuff like that. i feel so tired of this, these feelings are seriously draining me. I get so down when i feel that we cant connect and when i think nothing is ever going to happen. When i think about it realisticly, its going to be so hard for everyone to accept the fact that we're together, thats if we do get together, everyone being family and friends etc. Im just going around in circles i know, but sometimes i just feel like giving up like theres no more motivation and sometimes i just feel so happy about it all. Right now i feel like theres no motivation, because she is confusing me so much.

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We went out the other day and went to the beach. It was really nice, just the two of us. It was really cold as well so when we were on the pier we were really close to eachtoher. She was complaining about being cold and made me stand close to her to keep her warm. We just took turns leaning on eachothers backs to keep ourselves warm. I was really happy to be with her, but i dont know what she was thinking.

 

We went down to the beach and sat on this random log facing the ocean. It was really cold and she was saying she was cold so i sat closer to her, to keep her warm. she had her back to me beacuse she was sitting with her legs on the log. Kept saying it was cold so.. i put my arms around her, so she was sitting there leaning on me and i had my arms wrapped around her from behind.

 

She didnt pull away or say anything, just sat there leaning back onto me. Then i said "are you warm now?" and she was like "no" so held her even tighter.

 

Then i let go and we sat there for a while and these people walked by and were looking at us, and she said "what are they looking at" ... i think they thought that we were together or something and they way she reacted was like that "what are the looking at"

 

So when i held her in my arms, she didnt say anything but she didnt pull away, and when people walked by thats what she said.

 

What do you think of her actions and reactions ?

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Whoa. Well, I don't really know what to say, other than, I'm going through almost the EXACT same thing. I'd also appreciate advice from those who have posted here...

But other than that... I can tell you that it's not altogether unusual. I wish I could help more. I also can't really imagine myself with any other girl but my friend... but I definitely know I'm sexually attracted to other girls. My friend jokes around like that a lot too, but I know she's Bi, and she knows I am. But we both have boyfriends. And she knows I have a crush on her. Well, perhaps more than that... which I.. kinda told her today. In any case, the joking is hard to interpret, but that may be the one thing I can help you with... see we joke about it, but I've noticed that other, straight girls don't. Well, they do sometimes, but it doesn't have the same feeling to it... With my friend, the jokes seem more like a front for hiding our true feelings. Perhaps that's the way it is with your friend? All I can say is, I've never really seen two friends joke about things like that often without having some attraction to eachother... I hope that helped a little.

 

Well I just now read that she's out. >_

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  • 2 weeks later...

i havent been able to talk to her all week, we've both been busy. i really miss talking to her, i think we arnt going to talk or spend much time together for a while. im scared.. im thinking that because of the fact that we wont be spending a lot of time with eachother, as much as before.. things might change between us. as in our friendship/relationship. im starting to already get the feeling that she doesnt care that much anymore.. i dont know its just a feeling but i keep thinking about it and it doesnt feel good.

 

Do you think that spending less time with a person will ultimately change the relationship that you once had with them.. ? .. thanks

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things arnt good.. shes been a bit depressed lately, i can tell but she wouldnt tell me why, whenever i ask her whats wrong she always says "nothing, im fine." i found out from someone else that shes upset because of some guy, and shes really down because of their situation or something. basically she is hurting over this guy... her ex.

 

.. I duno, im not supposed to know anything about it. I dont know why she hasnt told me. dont know why she needs to hide it from me. thinking about just kills me inside. what should i do now, i dont know what to think, i dont know what to do and i have to pretend that i know nothing at all.

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im confused.

 

she called me yesterday, like i said we havent spoken lately and its been a week. Usually she doesnt call me but this time she did. i wasnt talking to her because i was upset that she didnt tell me about being upset, when i askd her she kept saying that she was fine, she always does that, and i guess this time it just got to me. Well anyway she called me and sounded, quite upset, because i wasnt saying much as well, as i was angry at her.

 

She started talking, then it sounded like she was crying. She was crying and said, " i really miss you, i havnt seen and talked to u in so long, it feels like a year " she repeated this like four times, i didnt really respond to it. Then she asked me if i was okay, and started crying again saying " i feel like we're fighting are you angry at me ?" i didnt say anything because she still hadnt told me why she was originaly upset.

 

i hung up and called her back, and she was saying "im so glad you called me back" .. she was still crying. We talked and i told her she should tell me why shes crying then she said it wasnt because of the guy, then she started crying more and i kinda forced it outa her but she said " i cant let go of him " when i heard these words, i didnt know what to say, everything shattered inside and i felt hurt i felt like bursting into tears, but i pulled myself together because i just want her to b happy... i told her, then dont let go you dont need to let go of him. ( Her ex )

 

she broke up with him because of me, she didnt tell me this but i found out from others. she did it because i was upset about them being together (i never told her this so i dont know how she knew,this was 3 yrs ago) it was because of me that they broke up and i dont want that to happen again. so i told her that i think its best if we stopped talking, this is because i know for a fact that if she is still friends with me, it wud probably happen again and she wud brake up with him again. plus.. it would be easier for me to forget her that way, it would be for the best in the long run.

 

after i said this she cried and said " no lets just go back to normal, dont leave me dont leave me" she kept saying this. I had my mind set on it and i was saying its not like im gona stop talking to you, its just talking less and spending less time together. she kept teling me not to leave her and said she would die for me, and that she cant live without me. then she was saying dont leave me if u do, im going to die. i didnt believe her, but she kept repeating it . i got scared that she reli would and started believing it. i said ok dont do anything stupid, lets just go back to normal.

 

sorry for rambling on, but thats what happen lastnight. what do you think of this? Im confused because, she saying stuff like " i miss you and cant live without you and i would die for you" plus she was crying and iv never seen this emotional side of her and She says she cant let go of him.

 

What do you think of her saying all this stuff, do friends say that kinda stuff to eachtoher, is that normal for everyone or could she feel that same way that i feel about her? could she feel that same way about me? or does she have feelings for her ex? ......... i dont know ... i dont know what she wants..

 

any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated

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Hi

 

Im sorry I cant answer your "do all friends act like this?" cos I have no idea. But none of my friends have acted the way she has....apart from my girl lol

 

Does the lad want to get back together with her?

 

I don't know what you should do. I'm sorry, im wondering the same sort of thing right now. I think you should stay friends with her but have you got some other friends you can spend more time with...concentrate you energy on?

 

If she keeps breaking up with her ex cos of you, that's her problem, not yours. I think it was great of you to say to her that she doesn't have to let go of him, I know how hard that would've been to say with your heart breaking inside.

 

sorry I couldn't really answer anything

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This could be a normal situation because she thinks that she is losing her best friend. At the same time, it could be because she really does like you. However, if she doesn't want to leave her ex then I would see that as a sign. Stay friends with her if you want. If you don't want to then don't. Her saying that she will die without you is overreacting. She will live.

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I don't know if the "can't live without you and I'd die for you" part is normal. When my best friend died I felt that way though. I never would have just said that to her face but maybe she's just better at expressing herself I don't know lol. As for saying she misses you that's totally normal. I say like love you and miss you to my friends all the time and I don't like them like that.

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yesterday was valentines day.

 

i called her and talked to her. i asked her what she did for the day, but she didnt say anything and was being reluctant about it. she kept changing the subject. i thought it was odd that she wanted to change the subject so i kept asking her and she said.. promise you wont leave me if i tell you. i was like why would i leave you? she kept making such a big deal out of the "dont leave me, promise me you wont" this was when i started sensing something and i just said i dont know i cant make promises coz im scared im going to break them.

 

i took a while.. and she didnt want to tell me at all, she told me because i started getting angry about her making me promise something that made no sense. then the words came.. she said " we kinda got back together " she was referring to her ex. when i heard those words i felt like something inside me just exploded and this feeling of pain shot through me.

 

i was really speechless, i didnt say anything for a few seconds and tears were overflowing. she didnt know i was crying though i didnt let her hear it. i said.. thats good, im happy for you. and she said " no ur nott, this is why i didnt want to tell you " i think she could hear frm my voice that i wasnt ok.

 

i was silent for quite a while. then i didnt what i was thinking or what i was saying, i didnt make any sense to her. what i wanted them was to not be friends anymore.. this was wat she meant by me leaving her. i tried to explain but i didnt know what to say. i wanted to tell her that i couldnt take it anymore, that i wont be able to handle the situation, that i have feelings for her and its been going on for so long. i just said to her.. " its not you, its me, you dont understand i dont want to be like this anymore, i dont want to but i cant help it, i know that im going to be an idiot about the situation so this is for the best, i dont want you to leave him because of me again and im scared that i might do that " she didnt get it though. i said this has been going on for to long and i need to stop being like this, i cant be like this anymore.

 

i just cant imagine what im going to be like watching them being together. is not being friends anymore the best way for me to deal with it.. ? am i thinking of the right thing to do? because i know.. i know for a fact that im going to be upset every time i think of them or see them.

 

she said.. " you know i would choose you over him, you're all that i have.. are you seriously making me choose because you know what i would do " i said no i dont want you to chooose i want you to understand where im coming frm.. its me its not you.

 

im feeling so upset and this feeling inside me is killing me. what should i do? i know if i was a true friend i would be able to accept it and be happy that she is happy, but i cant i just cant. i want to be happy for her i want to be that kinda friend that i should be. But how can i do that when i cant stop thinking about her, and what i want is to be with her.

 

someone tell me, what should i do........... because right now im not thinking straight. how should i deal with it? should i tell her about everything... or should i just leave it, and forget her.. or should i stay friends and pretend that im happy.

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Now is your chance to tell her everything. You've got nothing to lose. Yeah she might not be your friend anymore but you could move on. Even if that was the case then it's no different from what you already want. You already want to leave her. Just sit her down and tell her that the reason why it's hard for you to see her with her ex is because you want to be with her.

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