NC? please help me understand

[cominguproses]

hey guys, i posted this in the ex bf/gf relationships section but didnt get too many responses, i'm hoping maybe you guys can give me a little more. thanks

 

I am going to start NC, i think...but I need someone/many people to clear up these concerns for me first:

 

Can someone please address these?:

1- Will my ex forget about me?

2- will going NC make him think I don't care about him?

3- will NC make HIM move on faster?

4- should i respond to ANY of his attempts to be my friend?

6- what do the DUMPERS think about nc?

 

thanks guys. i appreciate all of your help!!!

[Beec]

hey guys, i posted this in the ex bf/gf relationships section but didnt get too many responses, i'm hoping maybe you guys can give me a little more. thanks

 

I am going to start NC, i think...but I need someone/many people to clear up these concerns for me first:

 

Can someone please address these?:

1- Will my ex forget about me?

2- will going NC make him think I don't care about him?

3- will NC make HIM move on faster?

4- should i respond to ANY of his attempts to be my friend?

6- what do the DUMPERS think about nc?

 

thanks guys. i appreciate all of your help!!!

 

1. No way. If I have dated a woman so much as three times in ym life, I have never forgotten her for long.

2. No, it won't make him think that.

3. If he dumped you, sorry to tell you this, but he had moved on emotionally before he did it. When someone dumps another person, the dumper is gone before they tell you. That does not mean he can get out there and date again, but, it does mean, emotionally he left before you knew it. When he can date again? Depends on him, but NC won't make it happen faster.

4. When you can see him and keep control of your emotions, or think you can, then think about allowing mroe contact. Keep the first times short and simple. When you have reaching the point where you being to let your emotions show, get away.

6. Who cares what they think, you do this because nothing else helps as much. You need tot ake care fo you right now. NC gets you away from what is hurting you and stops you from doing things like begging and pleading for him to come back, which are the most counterproductive things you can do.

[robowarrior]

Well basically it all depends on 'how close', or in love that person is with you. If that person isn't interested in you because of the break up or other reasons, then that person will back off and more or less forget and move on. If that person is high over heels, then that person won't stop thinking about you even if its years after.

[lmtl]

If he dumped you, sorry to tell you this, but he had moved on emotionally before he did it. When someone dumps another person, the dumper is gone before they tell you. That does not mean he can get out there and date again, but, it does mean, emotionally he left before you knew it.

 

 

I didn't quote correctly from Beec, but sadly, you are SO right about this. It's not often enough that we can see it coming though

[Vynde]

cominguproses,

 

Welcome. I’m going to be honest and to the point. Nothing about being "dumped" is easy. The questions that your asking are all normal and as hard as it is to hear, yes, he was most likely already gone, before he let you know (like mentioned above).

 

That being said. It hurts like hell. I know. I am going through a similar process.

 

Please know I’m not writing these things to make you feel worse, the idea of this site is to give you the best advice possible and a better insight into your situation. Of coarse every situation is different, and the ultimate choice on the direction you take is up to you - our purpose is to share our stories and experiences - tell you what worked for us and what didn’t and most importantly give you the support you need to overcome, to the best of your ability, any decision you make.

 

I look at my situation for example, in a relationship for 6 years, married for 1. She left me for another man (ouch). ENA helped me look at my options. Which at the time, there was only one. Which was to start NC. Keep in mind that it was “them” who made the choice to do this.. not you. Why should we let them hold all the "good cards"? When I started NC (which by the way isn’t easy) I felt I now had a good hand.

 

In my opinion, if he still wants to be friends, I would say he does care about you. He has to realize, that you don’t feel the same way – You wanted more and being friends “right now” is very painful.

 

What ever you decide, keep posting, keep asking questions and hang in there.

 

Regards,

John