Worrying affecting my health

[herbal]

I worry too much, about big things,small things about everything. ive never seen a day where i dont have to worry about anything,my job,friends,mysekf,family,my future.... the list is endless. Even when i get assurance about anything, i still find something to worry about.

 

Anyone who knows a way out,because i think my health is on the line,i already have stomach ulcers.

[iwishiknew]

I worry alot also, it sometimes puts me down but I try not to let it happen..I always worry about my future, If I will ever get out of the house..If I will again find a good paying job and if I will ever get a gf..

[herbal]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,im not happy that we have the same problem but i am glad i am not alone. So i guess we should look for some answers here................anyone?

[audreypoulain]

I am reading Epictectus book, The manual for living.

Epictectus was a greek philosopher and lived a tranquil life worry free in an era when life wasn't as easy as what we have. He lived in the BC era.

 

 

It really makes me feel better about things. I always worry about losing my job or if I'll ever be someone.

 

Heres some quick advice found in Epictectus' book:

 

"As you think, so you become". "Assume, instead , that everything that happeneds to you does so for some good. That if you decided to be lucky, you are lucky. All events contain an advantage for you--if you look for it"

 

"Dont worry about things as 'people dont think well of me' and 'I'm a nobody'. You're not responsible for what others think of you. What real difference does it make to your character and wellbeing if you have a powerful position or get invited to fancy parties? None at all. And why should you WORRY about being a nobody when what matters is being a somebody in those areas of your life over which you have control and in which you can make a real difference". ~~~~~~~~~Epictectus The Manual for Living

 

Please check this little book out only has less than 100 pages and the book is the size of your palm or smaller. I hope this helps.

[arwen]

I am a lot like that, and a few years back I have been diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). The worrying at that point changed into obsessive thoughts about things like my bf breaking up with me or cheating on me, that I'd be subject to severe illnesses (such as cancer, aids, etc). Months of obsessive anxiety would often change into a numb state of depression. I have been treated for this with Cognitive Therapy. Often worrying and general anxiety has a negative thought pattern about yourself as source.

 

For example:

 

Situation: my ex would be distant

My tought: I KNEW it, he's dumping me or seeing someone else

My feeling: scared

My behaviour: worrying frantically, trying to remember all of his actions towards me to deny this thought, panicking

Cognitive therapy aims at behaviour first, but the goal is to change the thought (automatic thought). This is the negative part, you feel somehow that whatever you are scared of, is something you DESERVE for some reason.

 

I wish I could say that one treatment in this line of therapy cured me once and for all. But it didn't work like that. I was well for a long time (2005), but gradually found myself slipping back in the course of this year. I have been back on medication again to take the edges of the anxiety (I lost too much weight, couldn't focus or sleep, could feel the depression coming again).

 

Since september I have been ok. I am actively doing exercises again, turning back to the example, in CT you have to write down the following:

 

Alternative thought: he is just having a bad mood

Alternative behaviour: continue to do my studies/job, go out with friends

 

I can tell you that it's harder to change this automatic thought than it seems. This thought pattern can be sort of internalized since a very young age and for example be the result of being bullied at school, negative elements in family relationships, or at worst things like abuse, rape, etc.

 

I hope this illustrates CT a bit and how it works for people who worry excessively. I have found it very useful but the key is to stick with it for a longer time than you feel you need (i.e. continue to do the exercises and actively take care of your automatic thoughts even if you are doing better).

 

Ilse

[herbal]

Audrey that is definitely a good start. i have been reading a lot of literature on 'you are what you think etc',i believe that. The problem is actually putting it into practice.What i dont get is how i can be worry free for a day,sometime its even the petty things that get me in to a worrysome state.

Sometimes i worry so much i cant get anything else done well.....................I even worry about how i worry so much about stuff-get what i mean

[herbal]

iLSE thanks,that is so educative,do you have a document or a site where i can get more of these examples of CT,i think it may help me because most of my worrying is negative(is there positive worry?)!

[arwen]

link removed

 

On this site there is a lot of information about therapies (based on schemas). I don't know if therapy is necessary for you, if you think you need it go to your doctor. It may help you a lot. I recommend to read Young&Klosko "Reinventing your Life". It has meant the world to me!

 

You can buy it in the bigger bookstores (mental health) or on amazon, I think.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse

[herbal]

I am sure ill find useful info on the site, but i have also come to realise excessive worry has something to do with Low self esteem (my opinion anyway),worrying about aceptance in the society for example,my esteem has always been below average,never really knew why, so it made me worry about how i can change things for the better, get girls to like me, be better academically, get a better job. Any idea on how i can also sort out my self esteem,i am sure it is a relative of excessive worry.

[arwen]

This is part of the treatment. At least it was for me. If I were you, I'd google for some resources on cognitive therapy. The thing is, adjusting your behaviour means that you will have to behave in a way that does NOT follow from your negative thought. I can tell you that that really helps to see what the negative thought is about and even where it is coming from. It helped me to keep a diary. You can also keep a diary of thoughts and things that happen to you here, it can help to get insight in yourself.

 

Ilse

 

Edit: Sonjam (also here on ENA) provided me with this very good page:

 

link removed

[amuse]

Keep busy and you won't worry.

1 take care of yourself = exercise, walk, bike, swim, yoga, tai chi, meditate and clear your mind learn to relax your mind.

Taking care of your body takes care of your mind.

Pick a word to clear your mind - ZEN is good.

When you feel overwhelmed, close your eyes and say it over and over in your head - calm and relaxed.

Zen Zen Zen Zen Zen Zen Zen

When nothing else is there and you are ok and it's clear think of a task that you must do - work, home and etc and do it.

Remember all is well with you and the world.

Today is the day you need to think about and get past first.

Then the future will roll out like a red carpet for you.