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i really need help, i just cant be happy anymore

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Hi all - anyone who has read any of my other posts will probably see that i have had massive trouble getting over an ex that i was with for 4 years. We broke up a year ago after he cheated on me.


I just cant get over the betrayal and the rejection. It has been over a year and yet i can still be reduced to tears by the thought of him. I have tried so hard lately to move on and i actually met someone else and have been on a few dates with him. Today however, i came accross some photos of my ex with his new girlfriend on someones myspace - i didnt even know he had a myspace but then obviously i couldnt help check it out. She is far prettier and thinner than me, he looks so happy with her and has left all these loving messages on her page. I feel like im back to square one. I came home from work in a state and have been crying since.


I feel like he saw into my soul and rejected me. He, someone who i shared so much with, decided that his life is better without me in it. I feel so completely worthless. i want to be with him so much, no matter what i try, i long for him. i still love him.


I am going away for a few days with a friend tomorrow, i found out today that i got accepted on the university place i had a hard interview for, in the last year i have done travelling, evening classes, ive worked out....i should be happy. but nothing pleases me, i ache for my ex and the happiness i experienced with him. i feel like an empty shell with nothing left to give.


Nothing i could do would make him want me, i feel so disgusting and worthless. without love life is just not worth it. if he doesnt want me, no-one ever will. i will never want anything but him. i miss him so much every day. please help me

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YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!! PLEASE do not tell me that you are putting your self worth in a person that cheated on you and hurt you?


What I suggest to you is a mental whoop in the tush! You have not moved formward because YOU ARE NOT ALLOWING YOURSELF TO.


You refuse to let go...if someone tries to pull you away....its like taking a candybar from a child and watching them scream, yell and kick as they grab madly in the air to retrieve what was once theirs.


HE IS NOT YOURS! I am NOT trying to be cruel here. HE IS NOT YOURS.




Quit comparing yourself...



When you were a couple....if you BOTH looked in the mirror....what did you see? YOu saw YOURSELF and him by your side right?



If you look in the mirror now...what do you see? What do BOTH images reveal? YOU..YOU ARE CONSTANT IN BOTH.



NO matter where life talkes you....you HOLD ON TIGHTLY....AND RIDE IT OUT!! SURF BABY!!! HAVE FUN!!


We have so short a time on this planet....To base the greatest gift that was given to you, you very life, on a man that decieved you is the most ridiculous thing!!!


I am NOT trying to make this sounds easier than what it is. I know its tough...I know it is sooooooooooooooooooooo hard to let go.


BUT YOU CAN DO THIS!!! STOP punishing yourself!!!



You are doing this to you..HE IS NOT DOING THIS!!! Realize this...


You are mentally allowing yourself to beat yourself up!!! You are allowing him to control you ...and he isn't involved! This is alllll you.


LET IT GO! YOU ARE SOMEBODY!! You breathe in and out like the rest of us...you are no less a human being than ANYONE.


Go grab your favorite CD and crank that sucker up and dance around your flat!! Realize that you can make a positive difference to not only everyone ere..BUT MOSTLY TO YOURSELF!!


God bless you sweetheart!! I am here for you...












-Your friend,





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I feel much the same as you - perhaps not all of the time, but a good chunk of the time. My ex also cheated on me with an ex-girlfriend of his and he left me for yet another ex-girlfriend/"friend." I have never been closer to anyone in my life. As in your case, my ex could see into my soul, I thought that he accepted me for who I am, but then 19 months later he rejected me and shut me out of his life. It's the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me.


I'm so sorry for the way you're feeling, because I personally know how painful it can be - I, too, many times feel worthless and disgusting and have no idea how things can get better or how any man could ever want me again, because I've tried everything with no result. Yes, the pain is less at this point, but it's still there nonetheless. And, for reasons that are beyond my comprehension, I also still love my ex in a way, even though it's been almost 2 years since the breakup.


So, I know and I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I wish that I could give you some surefire advice, but I'm still trying to figure things out myself.

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My ex also cheated on me. One day I found the e-mails and some pictures.

In my case she was not good looking at all. I kicked him out.


Now I see where you are coming from. If he cheats with someone, you can't help it but to compare. A lot of times the society puts value on a woman based on looks and on a man based on money.


But looks mean nothing. You can go to the gym tomorrow and look ten times better than her in a month. If that's what you want - do it.


But never, ever forget that a man who is capble of doing this to another human being is not worth your time or your love.


You , my darling have so much value and worth, so much beauty.

In another man's eyes you will exceed in beauty.


He is not worth your tears. Hugs and kisses. Stop going to his page. Stop looking at her picture. You are all that matters now. You are all you've got.

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