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I get upset when...

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...my girlfriend talks about the one night stand she had 2 years ago. She doesn't know that this bothers me, but it does and I'm quite sick of hearing about it. She brings it up about once a month and has for the duration of our relationship (about a year now).


This is not something I want to know about and wish I didn't. Everytime she says something about "the wedding in Virginia", I want to tell her to shut the F up about it.


Obviously I need more tact than that. But should I even bother saying anything about it?

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Argh, I would have been OUT by now. But I understand that you may not even be considering that, and its not always the most sensible option.


You're in dire need of being straight with her before it creates a major problem. Whats in the past should stay in the past, and she should not be making it your business. Shame on her.

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She either has a tremendous insecurity, or for some reasons feels it is relevant to you. Which it is not.


There is no way it should be something she regularly brings up (or at all!). Tell her you know it happened, and you do not want to hear about it anymore as it is absolutely not relevant.


I am not sure how old she is, or how much relationship experience she has, but it is pretty callous to bring up past sexual experiences with other people to your partner!

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There's a backstory to this, I'll explain as best I can. She is 26, I'm 31. She was engaged to this dirtbag who cheated on her a lot. He was the one who broke off the engagement and she was a mess afterward. She and I had known each other socially for about three years before we started dating. Anyway, the summer after the breakup, she went to this friend's wedding and slept with this guy. She says it was a big mistake and wishes she hadn't done it, so why keep mentioning it? I'm not impressed by it and don't care one way or the other, I just don't want to hear about it. All this happened before we started dating, so it doesn't concern me in the least.


My own one nighter was way back in 1999, so long ago I've forgotten most of what happened. I don't talk about, it has nothing to do with anything in my life now.

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All this happened before we started dating, so it doesn't concern me in the least.

If it is bothering her enough to bring it up on a regular occasion and if it bothers you enough to post it in a thread, then maybe it should concern you enough to talk about it. The next time she brings it up, instead of huffing and puffing and the like, hear her out. After shes done talking remind her that she brings it up often and ask her why it bothers her. Maybe she wants to hear that you don't think less of her because of it or that the fact that she did this does not change the fact that you love her. Whatever the case she won't stop bringing it up until you allow her to talk abou it, you ask questions (act interested) and finally tell her that it really bothers you that she brings it up and that the past situation doesn't change the way you feel about her. I know we females can be difficult at times but if she is important to you and putting this behind you is important you cannot just ignore it. She wont just come out and tell you whats really bothering her, I really think she just wants you to fish it out instead of simply telling you.

~Good luck!

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