Should I stay friends

[andrewman]

Hello all, the old me had absolutely no confidence and the last thing he did was ask the women of my dreams out. Well, of course he was very "I'd like to ask you out, you know, if you're interested" and so she said "nope"

 

Well, we've remained friends and I feel myself going back into "old me" ways, being the stepping boy of women that I'm really interested in. I'll admit that I really enjoy her company because well, I've never in my entire life been as enamored over someone as I am over her. I'm much, much more confident now (lost 20 lbs working out, bought new clothes, been taking better care of myself, my company is doing great) and well I'd rather be with her.

 

So, should I give it another shot as the new me or should I accept her first response as her last response and continue a friendship that I will always wish was something more?

[Dako]

Only if another "nope" won't ruin you.

Would it?

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

continue a friendship that I will always wish was something more?

That's a really crappy position to be in man, because when she meets some guy that she's all ga-ga over its going to really bother you. Is she giving you any indication that she might be interested in you? Like any signals at all? If so, maybe she's open to the idea, but if not she probably still sees you as a friend.

[heloladies21]

So, should I give it another shot as the new me or should I accept her first response as her last response and continue a friendship that I will always wish was something more?

Obviously you should try again as holding it inside will keep you frustrated and kill your self esteem. So let her know what's up and if she's not on board, time to move on as there is no reason to believe that she will change her mind.

 

But also a lesson to learn is that being friends with a chick in the hopes that she will want you is a flawed method and has been proven not to work so best to stay away from this.

[Dako]

RR is so right. If she meets Mr. Wonderful, your'e in for a slice of torment.

You should verify your standing before proceeding.

[CaptainPlanet]

Never be friends with a woman, ever. Don't do it EVER. Only if, she has a boyfriend who is a friend of yours, or if she is the sort you would never date. You know what I mean by that.

 

If you have to associate with one or two. Pretend to be her friend, but keep her at a distance. For a single man I think that is the only way to go, else you end up with complications in a similar situation to where you are now.

[Dako]

I'm so glad I've had women as friends, and not just "the sort you would never date."

How would you like someone merely pretending to be your friend?

[andrewman]

Well, I'm going the friend route. I know that she will never be interested in me because, well, we've actually talked about it. I told her that I'm smitten and I'm trying to get over it by asking people out and if she knows anyone, I'd appreciate her setting me up.

 

I enjoy her company too much to just end it and I know that I'm in for a world of hurt when she starts dating someone seriously but hell, I've had that kind of hurt for many many years so I'm pretty used to it now. But, I admit it'll be the worst with her.

 

That's why I'm really, really, REALLY hoping I can find someone else before that happens.

 

Thanks all for your kind words.

[ghost69]

why don't you just re-read your signature. it makes the most sense here.