my first post (i'm just venting)

[LowPerception1043]

So i'm 16 and I've been up and down, mostly down. I feel like i've been depressed for 4-5 years, but i'm not sure if it's depression or just the way I am. i don't want to get help, because i know it wont help. everyone i know who got help has came back worse. once you are depressed, your depressed for life. Lately I just really want to be someone else. I'm so confused, nothing makes sense to me. I don't understand the way things work, why I am who I am, how i got here. I always wanted to run away because I hate my town and can't stand my family sometimes (maybe its just that I'm a teenager) Now i think i realized its not that that i want to run away from, it's myself, and i can't run away from myself. I also don't understand how people live so long, i have trouble getting through 1 day. why can't i just live through my life normally instead of thinking so much. i don't know what i want to do with my life and i feel like no matter what i do i'll always wish i did something else. why can't i be someone else? life is unfair i guess. i can't choose but if i could i would be someone gorgeous, loved and famous. oh well. i'm pathetic.

[secret_agent_man]

Hi, and welcome to eNotalone.com! Thanks for coming to us!

 

I must say, you've already gotten to a good point here, further than most can get on their own. I say this because of something you said: "Now i think i realized its not that that i want to run away from, it's myself, and i can't run away from myself.".

I don't think many people understand that as well as they should, and I'm glad you do! Many times, people place blame on others when things go wrong, when there is really nobody at fault, so I congratulate you on your self-discovery!

 

To get down to it, I was severly depressed in my mid-teenage years, as many people are, and I shared a lot of those same feelings! I can assure you that now I am no longer depressed, no longer on any medication, and I am just happy with being alive and experiencing life! So I have to tell you that although you haven't seen it yet, nobody is doomed to a depressed life if they don't want to be, there are many options! You are definitely in a healthy and clear mindstate, so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

One option is to go seek proffesional help, it's anonymous and they are great listeners! This may cure all of your problems, as they may find something you didn't even realize.

 

Another option is to seek help and get medication for this. I am no doctor, so I have no idea if medicine can help you, but it may be exactly what you need right now... who knows!

 

Just keep an open mind, and never give up hope on being happy... you will be at some point, and you'll be glad you waited!

 

S.A.M.

 

---[addition by secret_agent_man]---

 

OH, and to add a quote to brighten your day...

Happiness is like peeing your pants... everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth!

[Ash]

I think it's a big step, you having realized you want to run away from yourself, rather than run away from other things. Many poeple seem to spend their whole lives running from what they think the problems are, never realizing that what they need has to come from within.

 

So, in a way, you've already made the first step. That's a good thing. Feel positive about that part if you can.

 

No doubt about it, being a teen is very tough. Practically everybody on this list will telll you that.

 

I would suggest you set yourselfs some goals. Maybe one for tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. They needen't be ambitious or complex, just somehing simple you plan to do, then strive to reach that goal. You'll feel better both in working towards a goal, and in achieving it.

 

These goals may seem trivial or mundane to somebody else, but to you they are important. Something very easy might be to try and smile at five people you pass on the street. Maybe that's a bit silly, but it's something to work towards.

 

You say you'd like to choose to be gorgeous, loved and famous.

 

Being loved is the easy part. Just be loveable, I'm sure you're family loves you already, that's important too.

 

Being famous is a bit tougher, but there are ways to try if that's what you want. You needn't be famous for beauty, or talent, there are lots of other things to be famous for. That would certainly be a long term goal, but break it up into smaller pieces, and work on them one by one.

 

Being gorgeous is a bit different. Maybe you will be, maybe not. Again, beauty comes in diffenent forms. Make the most of how you are, and rest assured there are those who will find you the way you want them to.

 

The way things work in the world will sort themselves out if you can sort yourself out a bit. Things will fall into place as you gain knowledge and experience.

 

You don't have to be depressed for life, you will get over it. There is a bright future for eveybody, granted some will have to work harder than others. But that extra work you have to put in will make you a better person.

 

Good luck.