Who can I date?

[Sean]

Ok, so I'm fustrated with the whole dating thing, and it just seems like no matter who I try to date, they always find problems with me, or I find problems with them and it just all ends very badly. I can't date fundamentalist Christian because I'm Catholic and they don't believe that Catholics are Christian. I can't date Atheist because they think I need a sense of humor when it comes to insulting my religion, I can't date single moms because I'm not finanically secure enough to actually support a child, and I don't really want children. God it just seems like every woman I try to date there's just something wrong. It is getting annoying.

[DMXtreme]

Sean you need to relax and open your mind. I too am a catholic but I know people have thier own opinions on religion. I too have dated moms and in no way did she expect me to help with her kid. I too find problems with other people when I date, trying to compare them to the ex, but realize no one will compare to her and I need to move on from it or else I will face the possibility of being alone.

 

All those people mentioned have feelings and unique characteristics, open up and enjoy it!

[Sean]

Eh even if I could support the child, I wouldn't date single moms, it's nothing against them, I just don't want children, at least not right now.

[finewhine]

Where I live, there are a gadjillion Catholics and agnostic ladies around who don't have any kids. Surely they're not so rare!

 

Sean, you're in a slump. The quickest, most effective way out of a slump is to quit trying to find someone. As they say (and it's very true) people come along whether you're looking for them or not, so quit looking!

 

Does that sound reasonable?

[valiantv]

Hmmm... The majority of this post seems to be about religion! You seem to take it pretty seriously, so unfortunately you are probably limited to Catholics...

 

Also you seem to have a lot of sweeping generalisations about people - "They don't believe Catholics are Christian" or "They think I need a sense of humor"...

 

And dating a single mom doesn't mean you gotta support their child! Though it does have the draw back of not being able to spend as much time together as you might want to.

[Sean]

Where I live, there are a gadjillion Catholics and agnostic ladies around who don't have any kids. Surely they're not so rare!

 

Sean, you're in a slump. The quickest, most effective way out of a slump is to quit trying to find someone. As they say (and it's very true) people come along whether you're looking for them or not, so quit looking!

 

Does that sound reasonable?

 

 

I live in the Baptist Bible Belt, so I doubt I'll find someone here. Where do you live?

[robowarrior]

You need to lower your standards, and step off the rediculous idea that christians can't date catholics or vice versa, nor that you couldn't date atheists. A kind reminder to that this is true is that Jesus came to the non-believers and ate with sinners as well, as he said these are the ones who need saving, not those who are already saved. So if Jesus accepts and allows these kind of people in his life, it means you should not reject other people from different faiths or no faiths just in the same way jesus did not reject them. As such you can date and marry whomever you want, and you might not be ready for it but the same counts for gay/lesbian people. Paul maby forbid it , but Jesus never did, this because souls essensial have no gender and descend into the human body as either a woman or a man. If a soul in a previous life was a man, and descends into a female body, its possibly still attracted to female's and thus will spend her life as a lesbian. Anyway that goes to far sidetracking into the fact that its ok for you to lower your standards and date other people.

[finewhine]

I live in Chicago, land of Catholocism (we're all immigrants from Western Europe and Mexicans). The agnostics are all lapsed Catholics. It's quite the party!

 

In spite of the fact that some people say you should date outside your religion, I say, why bother? Seems to me those Baptists are a serious lot. There's politics as well - I and most of the Catholics I know, lapsed or otherwise, are liberal Democrats, and the Bible Belt is notoriously right wing conservative. Although I have conservative friends, I couldn't imagine dating a conservative, so there's that.

 

Maybe you need to move? Do you go to church? Maybe you could meet a single, childless Catholic lady in church.

[laboheme]

I can't speak for Christians, but I'm an agnostic leaning towards atheism, and I can tell you that not all people like me insult those who actually do believe in a higher power and then expect them to have a humor about it. As long as they're not trying to impose their beliefs onto me, I completely respect their ideas...and I feel like by making a generalization like that you're, in a way, disrespecting those who don't believe...

 

I think one of the main questions here is whether you want somebody who shares your religious beliefs or simply accepts and respects them. Either one is fine, of course, but the former may be a little harder to find than the latter.

 

In addition to being more open-minded, like others have said, what may help is being upfront about things. If you let somebody know very soon that you're looking for somebody who shares your beliefs (I do realize that it's a very important requirement for some people), you'll save yourself the hassle of ending the relationship later...

[Sean]

I don't really care what you believe in, you can believe in the Spagetti monster for all I care. All I ask is that you respect my beliefs and values. I will respect yours and no I won't ask you to convert. I know that Catholicsm isn't right for everyone, but it is right for me.

 

Sorry for the generalization, but I'm just going on personal experiences here.

[Day_Walker]

think about what dating actually is. It is the process of finding a person that you get along with. Inherent in dating is frustration because you will keep dating because you are not finding what you want. If you arent having the success that you want then perhaps you should rethink your process of finding these girls that you are interested in and start with some that have more in common with you.