he has moved on

[milly]

My ex and I broke up in July so it has been a few months. I was starting to feel a lot better too. I still thought about him a lot but I wasn't crying anymore. Then I found out he likes someone else and I just felt terrible like someone hit me in the face. Everytime it crosses my mind I feel like I'm going to cry. I tried to stay busy all weekend but I just kept thinking about it.

 

I thought I was over him but this really upset me. I wish I could just forget about it. I just want to be over him so badly. Our break up was pretty crappy. We dated for 2 years and he dumped me on the phone with a brief and lame explanation. We had NC for a few months and then he called me a few times and we talked online. We haven't talked in a few months.

 

I don't feel like I want him back I feel really confused. I don't even know what I want but right now I feel terrible. I feel like I'm back at the beginning and I feel pathetic. I don't even feel like I can talk to my friends about it because I feel like they will think I should be over it already.

 

Any advice or thougtht?

[n83]

Hey

I'm sorry you're going through this.. Breakups are really hard. You said you've tried to keep yourself busy and I believe you.. I guess the only thing I can say to you is that he took the coward's way out, and you should recognize you're better off without him. And try to remember that one day, you'll have more or less forgotten all about him. The pain doesn't last forever and some day you'll find someone who wont treat you like that.

[finewhine]

Get over not talking to your friends about it. They'll understand.

 

Long relationships take a long time to get over. Trust me, I know. It's been six months for me and I ran into the ex today and it threw me for a loop. In any case, don't worry. This pain will pass, quickly if you meet someone you like. That's not to say it will be gone immediately, but it will lessen. Just hang in there!!!!

[bitbit]

when me and my ex broke up, he immediately started throwing other girls in my face before i dropped all contact with him. by the time we broke up, i was totally over him and the relationship, but the fact that he was going to such lengths to tell me the things going on in his life with other women really pissed me off. i didn't want him back at any point, but i wanted him to hurt for all the pain he caused me. i saw it as an issue of respect. i thought it was disrespectful of him to call me drunk from a bar a week after we broke up just so i could hear the dirty girls he had in the background. that's what made me hurt and mad at him.

[strawberries789]

Milly,

 

The way you are feeling is completely normal. I also broke up with my ex and even the thought of him with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I think this is a normal feeling. But the important thing is how to get past it. You have the ability to get past this, you do. Especially since after the break-up in time you were strong enough to feel better and start to move on with your life.

 

Please don't beat yourself down about feeling like this. Your feelings are your own. Don't be ashamed of how you feel. Just know that it is normal. And you are not at the beginning. You have made progress that you should be proud of! You are strong, you can do this!

 

I understand why you wouldn't want to tell your friends again, but I think your "real" friends would be open/supportive to listening to you. But if you don't feel comfortable talking to them, come back to this site and tell us how you are feeling. Feel free to PM me as well.

[Orlander]

I'm sorry, Milly, that you had to hear he likes someone else. You are probably going to have to condition yourself to not think about him with anyone else. Anytime you start to think about it, change the mental subject and think about something like, like tangerines, coffee, flypaper, the definition of the word curmudgeon or taffee.

 

It can be done. I promise.

 

 

Orlander