Dad issues

[Aniger_Doolb]

Okay...This is a tad weird, so far I've posted stuff about an author and a poem of mine, so this is the first time I'm really asking for adivce aobut anything personal...Well here goes...

 

So today me and my dad go to the store to buy some stuff, and we pass the coloring books. Suddenly I just get the feeling to color..I can't draw stick people write to save my life, so I've always enjoyed coloring books. I haven't used one in a long time--parents kinda stop buying them for ya when you get "too old." So I tell my dad I'll catch up with him and look for them. They've got Bob the Builder, Finding Nemo, Cinderella, but I ended up choosing Barbie. I've always liked Barbie, and Barbie coloring books have always been my favorite. I pick out some crayons, and meet my dad up front. I ask him if we can afford to buy them, he says yes. When he sees the Barbie he says he'll buy everything else but Barbie. And he wasn't even kidding. I thought he was when I took it up to the register and handed it to the cashier, he told her to take it off the credit card. I was...Well, I am pissed. It's not like HE wanted the coloring book, he wasn't going to use it, and he would've bought me a G.I. Joes one if I'd asked. He told me he didn't like what Barbie stood for, or how they portrayed her. I grew up with tons of barbies, and not once did I ever see a Barbie commercial trying to sex her up. She's always been the role model for girls, and not once have I ever come accross a Barbie encouraging girls to go out and dance on poles. I asked him if he would've bought me the G.I. Joes one, the one that had the little toys killing people with huge guns and all that, and he said of course, anything but Barbie.

 

That's the backround info, now for the advice. How in the world do I handle this? I'm 17--almost, anyway, I want to talk to out like an adult...But for some reason the thought of talking it out with my father over something SO small seems so silly. That's what kinda gets to me, he got all riled up and serious over something as small as a coloring book. It's such an insignificant thing, and I highly doubt he grew up playing will Barbies or wathcing the commericals, so how come he was this warped opinion of Barbie being some sort of Britney Spears? He's not the easiest dude to talk to either, he's worse than my step-dad. At least if you were respectful with Mike (the step-dad) he would listen and hear you out--even if he didn't change his mind, at least some sort of discussion could happen. But with Dad if I try to talk to him he gets all irritated and frustrated and starts screech-yelling. You can always tell when that's gonna happen cause his eyes bug out and his eyebrows raise. Already it's happened when I tried to tell him about the Barbie I knew back when I was little, the role-model for girls type of toy.

 

I know this is an odd thing to ask adivce for, but I'm more worried that if he's so freaked out about something this small, and won't even talk to me about it, what's gonna happen when something more serious occurs? I feel like I'm at a brick wall. ](*,) That icon really does say it all. So, everyone...How do you think I should approach the situation?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

actually, your dad's opinion about barbie dolls is not warped, but pretty common. the Barbie doll does have a negative connotation to a lot of people, though it might not to you... it has come to be associated with an empty headed bleached blonde who cares nothing about anything other than her looks and clothes... and men sometimes say they want a 'barbie doll' because they want a stupid attractive girl they can take advantage of...

 

for a little girl, a barbie may be about playing dress up, but to older people, calling someone a 'Barbie doll' type usually means a woman who is not smart, shallow, fake, only interested in looks, etc. Pamela Anderson and playboy bunnies are considered sort of the archetypal 'barbie doll' woman, fake b**bs, bleached hair, partying all the time etc.

 

so barbie means one thing to little kids, and another thing when applied to a grown woman...

 

so maybe as the father of a teenaged girl, he doesn't want you to be thought about that way, or to encourage you to be a grown up 'barbie doll' type girl...

 

so it really may not be that he is being terrible, but trying to be a role model for you and doesn't ever want you to be called a 'barbie doll' since when its applied to a teenaged girl or woman, it is NOT a flattering term...

 

although the yelling and bug eyed stuff is not good when he is mad, i think the problem with the barbie doll is just a miscommunication or interpretation of the different things that 'barbie doll' can mean in our society.

[Helen67]

I agree with all....!

 

Although it's a shame your father wont at least sit down and talk to you without getting angry, you should be proud of his stand.

 

Many would expect sensible women who are trying to make a difference to the world or just for themselves like career moves etc to be against what Barbie stands for, exactly what BeStrong wrote, but especially to hear a man say it, I find extremely good to hear!

 

Have you not seen those ridiculous women, having surgery after surgery to look like the perfect Barbie doll, they are sad ppl, who care only for looks and money, and don't have a shred of morality.

 

Your father obviously respects women's struggles, in this world, and full credit to him for that.

 

I'm not a hard feminist, but I do understand what these dolls, or even magazines have as an affect on teenagers, it's unhealthy and can cause alot of physical/mental damage.

[Aniger_Doolb]

I can't understand how any teenage girl would actually be effected by the idiotic "dumb blonde barbie doll" stereotype though. And it really is a stereotype. If Barbie is portrayed as just a doll, she's a dumb blonde. If she's into careers and they make lawyer barbie and vet barbie, she's doing too much. I've always thought of that image to be a stereotype, a feminist's excuse, sorta. While from what you said, I do understand where he was coming from, that almost confuses me more.

 

If women and teenagers over the age of 12 or 13 actually buy into that stereotype, I'd say they have some growing up to do. She's just a doll. Of course she's going to be perfectly constructed, she's a toy! There aren't many toys out there who are portrayed accurately. I'm more worried about the Bratz dolls. All they do is wear mini-skirts, put on make-up, and go to the mall. Barbie does all that, except I rarely ever see her in minis, and she does every career out there. Plus, little girls don't think about the stereotype Barbie image, or how they need to look perfect for everyone. They're too little still. Older, supposedly mature women, should be able to draw back from that silly image of perfection. *shakes head*

 

Thanks you guys, for explaining things though. I never actually thought my dad would think I was that impressionable, or that immature to believe in anything like "Barbie perfection." Maybe I'll find a way to approach the subject without making his top blow off now that I know certain things.