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Failing at online love


musicguy

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So far all of my online relationships have failed. I don't know why either. The girls that I usually "date" online seem to break up with me. Maybe it's because I'm older than them mostly date the teens 17 and up. Maybe I'm more committed to a relationship than they are, I don't know. So far mostly every girl that I've had an online relationship with has gone downhill or I've been cheated on. I'm having such a hard time finding love online and offline

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late teens and early 20s are in a totally different life stage that you are... they just want to play around and date around and hang out with friends etc., so boyfriend/girlfriend relationships aren't usually that serious with frequent breakups. can't tell you how many times i've heard girls that age say, 'yea, he was ok, but really too old for me...' they'll experiment with you as an 'older guy', but back to guys their age again... 7-10 years older is a huge gap at that age due to the maturity level.

 

you should be focusing on women 23 or older, in the same life stage as yourself, or even older, 27-34, depending on whether you want a serious relationship or not. those are your real peers. otherwise you're just going to have an endless string of younger girl flameout relationships...

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I agree, I think you should look for women in your age range, like 22-31. These women may have more in common with where you are in your life. It is not true that we are all married. I am 26, and single! A 17 year old, she is still just a kid, living with her parents.

 

I think you should look for women you have something more in common with.

 

I don't find it surprising AT ALL that your online relationship are failing. if you are dating 17, 18, 19 year olds, they are not looking for a serious relationship, they are still having fun, do not know who they are, they are worried about prom and college, not about being the best gf possible and making a loving relationship.

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How about meeting women in real life, rather than online? I know it's hard, but there are loads of people out there looking to meet nice guys - go out to as many different social things as you can, put yourself out there, get to meet people and see how it goes. I think that 17-20 may be too young for you, for reasons said above. You're at different life stages, and if you meet online, you're looking for different things.

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yeah, and even if you are looking for the same thing (ie, a long term relationship), the stage of life you are in is so important.

 

like, I am looking for a relationship, but I wouldn't be compatible with a 55 year old man looking for a relationship. I'm still in school, and he's nearing retirement! Life experiences, mindset, values.... so important.

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and I know a lot of people who have met and gotten married from online relationships, so there is success when finding love online. I mean sure they aren't physically around, but a relationship is a relationship whether you meet them in person, on a dating site, thru personals or online. Love CAN be found anywhere!!!

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I've tried meeting women in real life and same thing..nothing. I live in a collegetown and places to meet people are either in college or in bars and we have hardly any clubs in my hometown and I'm not much of a bar/club guy.

 

if you live in a college town, there are a ton of places to meet women your age. coffee shops, local events. maybe sign up for a club on campus, a lot of them allow members even if they aren't a member of the university. an outdoor club, music club, etc.....

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Absolutely with Annie on this one - coffee shops, music events, clubs, talks, sports etc. If not the students, all the hot grad students, administrators, etc etc. I'm in the UK, but it can't be that different. If there is a university, there's a LOT to do!

 

Yes, love can be found everywhere. But online love - I don't know; it just seems like you're shooting yourself in the foot to start with, because you don't know if there is physical attraction between you.

 

Good luck.

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