What to do for me!?

[hall]

bit of advice on what to do next would be a good help!

basically me my girlfriend been going out since 16 and im now 21 and she split up with me saying she wanted to be on her own and she feels as if she is missing out on her friends, then avout 2months later she said she missed me so we started to see each other as friends then she did it again she wants to be on her own so i took it as that is final. BUT she then AGEN turned round and said i want u and it is 100% this time i love you, i cant live with out you and i said we will talk next year. BUT she then turned round last night and said she feels pressured to get this relationship started agen we havent had sex for bout a year, she wants to be her own person what should my next step be?

[Ellie2006]

Hey Hall,

Welcome to Enotalone!

The best thing to do is to extricate yourself from this "yo-yo" relationship.

 

I understand you care for her but this pattern is an unhealthy one for both of you, IMO.

 

Good luck!

[vermilion]

You know that she wants you back- but what do YOU want? That's what's important. You have to consider your feelings and completely disregard hers while deciding. Because you shouldn't be with her only out of guilt, because you feel obligated to be with her.

 

I know what I would do though: I think after 5 years it's time to find a new person. You two are developing a pattern- looking at past experiences you'll just break-up again, right? You may regret wasting your youth later, not seeing what else is out there. It sounds like she takes you for granted. She can just come back to you whenever she feels like she needs a relationship and leave when she's bored.

 

And if you two really are meant to be together, taking a nice, long break wouldn't hurt anything, right? You may find you don't need each other.

[jessicake]

hall,

i agree with vermilion, what do you want??

 

you are the only one capable of taking care of yourself ultimately... so think about what you want with her in the end and how hard she and you is willing to work on it!

 

you should listen to the song butterfly by mariah carey!!

 

but yeah.. if you really want to hold on, make sure that you both are willing to work at it for the long haul!

 

i sincerely hope that you will find out what you want and get it.

 

xoxo