Weird topic....

[empyrealprincess]

I really wasnt sure on where to put this....I find it an odd question really.

 

Well, here it goes. I've had this "issue" for quite some time now...ad I'm relaly not sure how to get over it. I was hoping someone here could help. The issue is using the bathroom while my boyfriend is around. I just can't seem to do it, it's like I am embarressed. Like I said, I've had this issue for quite sometime, around any companion, I feel umcomfortble using the bathroom around them.

 

The reason this is such an issue now is because my boyfriend and I have decided to move in together....so obviously, I'm going to have to go sometime, right? I jsut find it very awkward, and weird....it's even gotten to the point where I can't even do it around family.....what is wrong with me? Why is this such an embarrasing issue for me? For some reason I view it as dirty and disgusting, yet I know everyone has to do it...

 

so please please please...ANY advice on how i can get rid of this "fear" or "phobia" or whatever you would like to refer to it as.....abnormaility...it would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!!!

[Daddy Bear]

tell him about this aversion you have, and see if he'll cooperate by giving you as much of a comfort zone as possible at the necessary time. eventually you'll get used to him being nearby when you go. running the sink water as a noise cover might help, too.

[TheRedQueen]

I'm guessing that you are referring to defecating, as opposed to urinating.

 

I have a similar problem as well, what has helped me, is to talk about it with my SO. It's just one of those things that totally suck about being a woman, whereas men are allowed, or even expected to be gross, we as women are supposed, and thereforeeee expected to be, "pretty" and "clean".

 

Bah, we're all a bunch of stinky gross animals, and there's nothing "beautiful" in, or about, the act of defecating.

[turqoise]

I thought I was oddly preoccupied with it, but glad to find some company.

For me, the thing I learned to do is to drop some toilet paper in the bowl and it cushions the sound! You go to the toilet silently!

As for the smell, a 7-day detox diet of unseasoned fruit and veges got rid of it so completely it was ridiculous (Im no medic but I think the keywords are no meat and unseasoned - no salt, sauces, sugar etc)

Now I just have to figure out how to get changed at the gym without getting self-conscious...

[empyrealprincess]

Aww thanks guys! you've been incredibly helpful! And I thought i was alone on this...but it sure sounds like there are others with this issue as well.

 

i know what you mean about the girls are suppose to be "clean" and "pretty"....but to be hoenst, i have NO idea why i have this problem....i work in science....so I know all the ins and outs of the mechanical workings of the animal body.....but for some reason...I've just had this problem haunt me for so long!

 

I have also heard of that detox method...so thank you again for that as well!?

 

Any more hints...send em my way.

 

Thanks again EVERYONE!

 

PS: self-conscious....oh thats a whole new topic on its own for me! but i'm sure you are perfect just the way you are

[empyrealprincess]

forgot to add....just wanted to get a stat from the guys.....just because i'm curious....does it relaly matter to you if your girl defecates while you are around....or does it gross you out?

[Lady Luck]

Stereotypically, boyfriends and girlfriends refuse to do "#2" while the other is in the near vicinity (sp?). Even if you love eachother, there's still things that you don't want them seeing, things that would embarrass you. I've been with my s.o. for about two years, and I still refuse to do that with him in the house. Unless he's upstairs and I'm downstairs. Then that's a different story.

 

But anyway, it's completely normal. You'll get over it eventually, as will I.

 

I once heard somewhere that boyfriends and girlfriends refuse to go to the bathroom infront of eachother, no matter how long they've been together. But once they're married, they deliberately go out of their way to gross eachother out, like leaving the door open, or leaving stained underwear around the house. Things like that.

 

Agh, I never make sense. >.

[Davey99]

Hi

 

Just thought I'd drop this in here.. It may be that you just don't want to do it around your boyfriend/girlfriend... But your family too?.. Well there is a condition that affects around 4 million Brits. There is a technical name for it but basically means 'shy bladder'..

 

I have it, though not as bad as it once was. A couple of years ago I stopped using urinals and would only go in cubicles, then it progressed to not being able to go if someone was in the room (work toilets etc). Then I ended up not being able to go at all outside of my house. At the time I didn't know of any study done on this subject, and when I read about it, it was such a relief..That's when it got better (Still in cubicles though

 

I'm sure this and the other posts will help a lot of people with this problem.

 

Dave

[empyrealprincess]

I have also heard of that disorder....it's actually not good at all, it can cause you not to go outside your house (like you mentioned) and thus damages important functioning organs. Again, I understand the human body and its functions....but such business is so difficult for me and i dont understand why! I feel so embaressed when I know I shouldn't be at all! it's natural!](*,)

[PinkValiant]

I used to dispise even peeing in a public bathroom because of the sound. I had to flush the toilet and pee at the same time so no one would hear...then I realised all girls pee, just like I do and they all make the same sound. So why am I making such a huge deal over nothing? There's too much noise other than the peeing sound going round in the bathroom for anyone to take notice anyway...

 

But yeah, back to your situation. Put a radio in the bathroom and play some music loudly in there to cover up any unwanted sounds...if you have a ventilator fan that removes the odour, then great; turn it on as soon as you get in...if not, keep a febreez bottle in the bathroom. The one that kills 99.9% bacteria odours in the air or something like that.

 

Ack, what a weird thing to discuss lol...

[Davey99]

I have also heard of that disorder....it's actually not good at all, it can cause you not to go outside your house (like you mentioned) and thus damages important functioning organs. Again, I understand the human body and its functions....but such business is so difficult for me and i dont understand why! I feel so embaressed when I know I shouldn't be at all! it's natural!](*,)

 

 

I agree it's not a good thing, BUT don't worry too much about damaging organs.. It's actually quite hard to do. Holding your bladder will not damage anything.. At the most it will be very uncomfortable and if you hold it long enough (And I mean long) you will just end up wetting yourself.. However, the other part of the anatomy can be damaged but only in extreme cases of holding it in for a very long time.. I'm not an expert on this or anything but this is what I was told by my doctor when I brought it up after I'd been seen for something else.

 

It can put a strain on peoples lives and relationships though.. If you aren't comfortable going outside your own house, I would imagine it's quite hard to stay over at peoples houses (after parties, boyfriends or girlfriends houses etc). That was my situation not too long ago but now I 'manage' to go. I think what helped me was finding out that it's more common than I thought.

[turqoise]

agree it's not a good thing, BUT don't worry too much about damaging organs.. It's actually quite hard to do. Holding your bladder will not damage anything..

 

Davie, gotta disagree with you there; there are consequences that are not too eventual. There is medical research - if you hold your bladder too long all the time:

a) it can increase the probability of UTI (urinary tract infection)

b) cause a weaker bladder earlier than others as you get older.

 

Don`t wait until you`re busting.

 

ps. Extreme cases can damage the kidneys, which can happen after lots of UTIs.

[empyrealprincess]

Davie, gotta disagree with you there; there are consequences that are not too eventual. There is medical research - if you hold your bladder too long all the time:

a) it can increase the probability of UTI (urinary tract infection)

b) cause a weaker bladder earlier than others as you get older.

 

Don`t wait until you`re busting.

 

ps. Extreme cases can damage the kidneys, which can happen after lots of UTIs.

 

 

also the risk of bladder stones is prevelant.

 

but thanks for the information everyone....and yes, i know its a weird topic...and its really embaressing for me...but i really think i need help to overcome this phobia i have

 

so again, thank you everyone for your helpful responses

[mitch17]

i dont crap in public toilets, is that strange?

[empyrealprincess]

i dont crap in public toilets, is that strange?

 

 

not as weird as not doing it at all

 

i can understand not doing it in a public bathroom.....you never know WHAT germs are lingering there.....ewwwwww. now that i think about it....I should take a spray bottle of bleach to spray the seat down...blah!! hahahah