He's too good for me....and I can’t be myself around him..

[vermilion]

I’m normally calm around guys I like. I’m nervous but still able to talk to them and gain their interest usually. But with this one guy, “James”, I think he’s too good for me.

 

*Sorry for the cheesy giving fake names (a la “Dear Abby”) but it’s easier than just typing “he/she” all the time and less confusing.*

 

He’s a nice guy and he’s cute and I just KNOW about 30 other girls probably have their eye on him- and they’re all probably better looking than me. Whenever James smiles at me or says anything to me I blush- which I loathe but I just can't help it.

 

And I can’t even say what I want to- I mean, I have a hard enough time trying to think of something to say and even if something funny pops into my head I switch words around in my head and say stuff that doesn’t make sense.

 

Like once James said something like, “How are you?” I was going to say “good” but then started to say “great” so I was like, “Grood!”

 

Or I’ll say something to a friend like “my neck is stiff.” but if James is staring at me I’ll feel nervous and say my “my neff is stick”.

 

Or I’ll completely switch words around.

 

Or I’ll say something that sounds clear in my head but then someone says, “What? Why are you mumbling? I can’t hear you.” I can’t even form a coherent sentence when he’s nearby! Yeah, my chances are really grood.

 

But I feel nervous I’ll screw up so when James says something to me like, “I like your shirt- where’d you get it?” I’ll just ignore him or say, “Oh, awesome, ” sarcastically. #-o It’s so rude! I swear I don’t know why I do it!

 

James and I have a lot of similar bags and shirts and stuff because we like a lot of the same bands or things. I first wore a che guevara shirt and then he came up to me and said “Mine’s better!” jokingly and wore it next class. Then he did the same thing with a dead kennedys shirt. And he always says he wants my shirt/bag/ whatever. So I know I could start a conversation that way but I’m scared I’ll screw up and he won’t ever talk to me again.

 

Another thing I’ve noticed is that this girl always sits near James in class. I can tell she likes him. But she can be really mean. I think she doesn’t like me which is a good thing because maybe she sees me as a threat- I mean, if I didn’t have a bit of a chance she wouldn’t bother, right?. Every time James talks to me she glares at me and tries to bring the attention back to herself.

 

But I don’t know if he has a girlfriend. Oh yeah, I don’t even know his name- is that weird? Because he knows my name and says it a lot so I’m too embarrassed to say, “What’s your name?” Nobody ever says his name! I keep on waiting for someone to say it. arrgh...

 

Also, he listens in on my conversations with “Everett” a lot. James will stare at me in class and sometimes he’ll try to butt in to whatever Everett and I are talking about. We usually ignore him, or just sort of say, “Oh, ok.” But Everett likes me so whenever James tries to talk to me and I actually respond, he’ll try to draw the attention to himself and tries to diss James. I know the two have known each other a while so I’m tempted to ask Everett what James’s name is and if he has a girlfriend. But then Everett likes me so I’d feel bad and he might tell someone...

 

He's sort of popular- not really popular but he seems to have a lot of friends. And I'm ok with people at school in general but don't always fit in because I guess I'm too quiet or too sarcastic- people can't seem to tell I'm joking a lot. I'm not sure really. I'm ok looking, I guess. I mean, I've dated some pretty cute guys so I don't see him finding me repulsive but maybe I wouldn't be good enough for his friends? I don't care what my friends think but I think most people do.

 

Can anyone tell me what I should do? Maybe what you think he thinks of me? I feel confused and this situation seems so hopeless....

[dil]

I'm the same way, I get tongue-tied and a bit obtuse.

 

but my advice is to: relax, he is human, just like you.

 

you need to relax a bit first, play it cool.

[MetallicAguy]

He probably wouldn't mind if you got toungue-tied around him. I really doubt he'd think "what's wrong with her she can't pronounce a sentence right", he'd probably think its cute.

 

I think he likes you, everything you said seems to click together. Don't worry about that other girl that likes him, if he isn't giving her the attention he gives to you, then she poses no threat.

 

I'm ok looking, I guess. I mean, I've dated some pretty cute guys so I don't see him finding me repulsive but maybe I wouldn't be good enough for his friends?

If he likes you, your flawless in his eyes. Wouldn't be good enough for his friends? You like him right? Then why the hell would his friends matter haha. If he likes you, I bet he's already told them. Almost always, friends of the guy who's dating a certain girl are pretty accepting of you so there's nothing to worry about.

 

I think you should ask someone who knows him, or Everett (last resort) for his name and if he has a girlfriend.

[BigSurge]

Never feel like someone is too good for you. always keep in mind that they are just a person like you you, with all the same fears and insecurities. It's all about confidence.

[addictedblue]

people are only out of your league if you consider them that way. in reality there's no leagues and people aren't rated a number and have like set standards on who is "good enough for them". like that person above me said, everyone is human, no matter how cute or how many friends the person has, he's capable of having the same feelings towards you as you are to him. find out his name, talk to him more. the more you guys talk you'll get more comfortable and not say things that don't make sense. eventually it'll spark into something more, if it turns out that you guys are right for each other and have a connection.

[Kevin T]

Congratulations, it sounds like you've developed a crush on someone!

 

The only thing you can do is hang around him and see if he shows interest in you.

 

Hopefully it'll work out. If not, don't worry... you are still very young. I only wish I was still sixteen, my God.