Don't like how I'm feeling

[ebsmith1]

My ex broke up with me in August and I thought it was the worst thing I could ever go through. Since then I have healed a lot and I'm doing so much better. I don't cry over him any more but there are things I still don't do for fear of the pain they might cause. I haven't had to see him at all except for one encounter about 2 months ago. He has completely moved on and has the girl he left me for practically living with him. I'm seeing someone else now too and I'm happy. However lately I find that he's in my mind all the time. I had gotten to a point where I stopped thinking about him most of the time. Maybe it's all the things coming up that we would have done together, I don't know but I hate it. Most of my thoughts are about how he could do what he did to me and just move on to do it to someone else (he proposed to me and broke up with me a month later and this is a pattern with him). I wonder if he ever thinks about me like I think about him. I'll see or do things that remind me of him and just can't believe that when he has the same thing happen that he doesn't think of me. I'm upset that he hasn't tried to contact me, that he's never said he's really sorry for how much he hurt me (even though I think he really is) and how he didn't even try to keep the promises he made me when he left about getting some professional help for the way he feels about himself and the way he treats others. I'm just having the hardest time understanding how you spend so many years of your life with someone and then just pretend like they never existed.

[zach]

its hard ,i miss my ex fiance too, and recently tried to make it work, but to much has happened, and i left her i do want her ,and i do love her but i carnt stand how hurtfull she is too much has happened,and i am sure to much has happened between you two,but what i am doins moving on and thats what you need to do,what doesent kill you in this life makes you stronger,i also think a hell of alot like you ,do they miss me do they think about me its hard ,but what will be will be and in the mean time take a deep breath and move on and remember your better than the hurt ,as for the person your with now try not to get to deep have fun for know and if he makes you happy keep seeing him but dont mess his head up i had it done to me its not nice keep smilin sweet

[stunned]

ebsmith1,

 

I don't think most people, even the ones who walked away from relationships, pretend the other person in the relationship never existed. Rather, I think we all push memories of the other person to the back of our minds to focus on ourselves and healing from loss. Once we feel emotionally strong enough, we may allow ourselves to think of our ex partners, sometimes fondly, sometimes less fondly. Some may actually be able to establish a friendships with their exs. (More power to them, if they can do that.)

 

I'm glad you're healing so well. Just keep focusing on taking care of yourself. Hopefully, you won't have anymore encouters with him. In retrospect, it's probably good that the relationship terminated before you were married. As stressful and painful as breakups are, divorces can be even worse, emotionally and financially.