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I am a 27 yr old gay male. I am from Asia and in our culture and in my family, being gay is just not an option. Needless to say, I am not "out".


Even without family and societal pressures, I personally think that I would be happy only if I have a family of my own with wife and kids. I know many people in America and the west would suggest that I should try and live my real life and not "act". I appreciate your suggestions, but I believe, for me, given my family situation, that is not an option and personally I dont wantit either...


But, if I have to marry a woman, I have to be intimate with her, which I cannot since I have no arousal..Is there any sugegstions that anyone has,like some herb or pill, which can help me get erexxxions, even when I am not aroused...


The popular ED pills wont work and some online pills turned out to be hoaxes..


Please please someone help me..Please...

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Please do not marry a woman because of society pressure. It is not fair to her, and most importantly not fair to you. It would ruin her because she would sense it.


In Asia, there is more people coming out. There is a chinese writer, forget his name, had came out and making effort to increase awareness of homosexual preferrence.


Have you consider moving to a place where homosexual is recognised?

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For now, try to be 'accepting" of who you really are.


Be loving to yourself, and know that you are perfect, as a gay man. I understand your pressures regarding family and culture, but do NOT become a part of this hypocracy by involving an innocent kind loving woman into your life.


Karma: Be loving and accepting of yourself, live an honest life, do not intentionally get involved with a woman so you can "have a family" under FALSE pretense, THIS WOULD NOT ONLY HURT YOU, BUT THE WOMAN AND THE CHILDREN, and you are too kind to consider doing something like this. Would you want someone to live a lie and falsely involve you?


Your life is just beginning, take it one step at a time, if you can not be honest with your family, than okay, don't say anything to them for now, but at the very least be honest with yourself.


Taking "pills or herbs" or pretending to be straight so YOU can alleviate your sense of shame (this is just "learned shame" it's not authentic shame, you have nothing to be shameful about)


But by avoiding your own fears of living in truth and instead, living a lie and and having a family through a false heterosexual relationship is so wrong... it's just wrong. This will lead to much sadness and regret.


YOU are worthy of love and understanding, and you may not get it from family or from your society, but you can give it to yourself by living an honest life as a gay man.


Who knows where your education, career, travel may take you.. and thier is a loving man out there for you, who will understand your fears, and your families disapproval, and you can grow on your own, stand up for yourself and have a family with a loving life partner someday..


Wish this for yourself, be honest with yourself.'


I'm sorry for your pesonal family situation, but release yourself from these constrictions one day at a time, breathe, believe, be honest with yourself, and others when the time is right...

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