limited contact in this situation?

[AloneinTexas]

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[AloneinTexas]

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[silentalways]

u didn't lose her. u did what was best for u during the time she didn't want u. that's how it works sometimes. don't let her blame u for finding ways to move on and heal. plus, its yer story too - u have a right of ownership as well and who cares what others think - they either support and understand or do - and that makes it an easy decision for u about who are yer true pals and who isn't.

[AloneinTexas]

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[Violette]

If possible, try limited contact for a while. This option makes sense where if it isn't working, you can always go to no contact, whereas the other way, you don't have an option of adjusting the situation.

 

She probably is really mad and hurt, but it isn't unforgivable. Let her know that you honestly didn't know what to do, and you were stupid to be so undisguised in asking for advice--enough to invade her privacy and trust, but if screen names were the only indication of who she actually was, then it is not nearly as bad as it could be. It's a mistake and people make them. I haven't read the posts myself of course, but it sounds as though you were trying to do well with the relationship, and simply made a bad choice.

 

I think the best thing for you both is to try to be friends. Don't rush at anything. There's too much pain, it sounds like, in too short of a time. The better you know one another, the better your relationship will be if another chance is given.

 

-V

[AloneinTexas]

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[Violette]

Well, obviously posting about such things should've been a big no-no to you at some point. There is a phrase that a 'gentleman never tells' such things.

 

The fact that you were never just friends is probably a downfall in the long-run of things. You need some time to just get to know a person without being committed to them. It was a gamble for both of you, to just jump into a relationship.

[AloneinTexas]

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[Violette]

We didn't jump in. Most relationships DONT start out as friends. Look at all the people asking "my and this girl have been friends for 6 months, i want to ask her out now b/c i have feelings for her." guy doesn't realize he is friendzoned. So i dont believe your stance on that matter.

 

I know posting was a no no--at least the detail i got into. I dont need to be reminded. Sorry if i sound mean, im just mad at myself.

 

Im looking at the right way to approach this.

 

My point was that most relationships DON'T start out as such from day 1, believe it or not, not an official "we're just friends nowwww" thing or however you've chosen to think about it. So my stance IS valid. You posted that "we were never friends; we acted like bf/gf since the day we met" which I pointed out, didn't give you a chance to get to know one another to see if a relationship would be reasonable between you both. The factors for such things are obvious, and the drawbacks -think about it- are really nothing. All I'm saying is that it's good to know a person before you jump into something that is emotionally involving.

 

Yes, yes you should've known better, you have a right to be mad, but it sounds as though the girl in this situation is willing to forgive you, or at least consider it, so you're in a good place. It's always a good idea not to waste a lot of time berating yourself or complimenting yourself; just work with what you have and be happy while you can.