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having the worst day ever.


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this was the longest day of my entire life. i have never been so hurt by someone who supposedly cared about me before. so please bare with me as i write to you my story.

 

i met a boy. a boy one year younger than me. for the past 5 months he turned into my BEST FRIEND. i talk to him everyday, everynight, and haven't gone hardly a few hours without talking to him unless i am asleep. over the past month making this the 6th month i have known him, he became more than a friend. he became my guy. but we kept it on the downlow. mainly because my parents don't really like how he is younger than i am.

 

last night, he broke it off. i was mad, and i confronted him, so he broke it off. here is part of the conversation:

 

 

 

(10:02:46 PM) Tom: i just dont see this going newhere and i dunno i think we were better off as friends...and i feel like a *** *** saying that but like i dunno i just feel held back

 

 

we ended it last night. and i bawled my eyes out. my best friend. now my ex everything. because guess what, i realize that he's everything to me.

 

and then today he made the worst mistake he could have ever had done. he called my best friend, my very best friend, the one that you've been going to school with since childhood and will throw themselves in front of a moving car for one another, a heifer. and let me tell you, she is anything but comfortable with her weight.

 

he hurt me, and my friends.

 

i made a mistake, i made a mistake by putting my friends in here with me, because guess what, they were all right there sticking up for me and he started to insult them. and then all of a sudden its not even about me anymore.

 

he sat there and watched while i sat next to her and bawled my eyes out.

 

i confronted him at the end of the day and im supposed to call him or at least i told him i would. but who knows if he'll pick up. he's hurt. and im hurt. mission accomplished, day was a disaster.

 

what do i do? what do i say? can i ever forgive him? should i apologize? is this all my fault? ill listen to anyone's advice.

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Leave him alone. For now.

 

I am going to try to read between the lines a bit, but it goes like this:

 

He was not getting something out fo the relationship, so he did not want it to continue as such;

He tried to end it, while even saying he did not like doing so, shows he cares but also shows it was already over for him;

You lost a guy who meant a lot to you and tried to do something to get him back today;

What you were doing was not having any positive affect on him, he wanted to get away from and put an end to your actions;

Part of your actions invovled you getting your friends invovled, friends should support you, but not get invovled in our relationship discussions;

One way eh say to end what was happening today was to lash out, and the immediate way to do so was to say what he did about your friend; and

When he did, I bet it ended what you were trying to do.

 

Leave him alone, limit your contact with him. Have no contact if possible.

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Ok, well i see it like this.

 

Every human has good parts, and bad parts, and if your 6 months non-stop talking to him, its not so strange that he would display some cold-heartness towards you.

 

You know people have bad stuff happening to them almost every day, this effects people in a bad way, personally i think you where suffocating him with too much contact,

 

Tom: i just dont see this going newhere and i dunno i think we were better off as friends...and i feel like a *** *** saying that but like i dunno i just feel held back

 

Clearly displaying that he's held back, or in other words he can't have some very neccesary 'now its Tom Time' for himself, because you don't understand that a relationship is about being together but also letting eachother being able to do their own thing. Constantly being in contact means that he can't fall back on himself and his own life. I understand your need for constant contact, but have you ever realised that there's also a word called 'too much'

 

I don't justify any of his wrongfull actions towards you or your friends, but its important to understand that you might unconsiouslyl have contributed to him leashing out, your suffocating contact has made him want to break free, which i assume is the way he leashed out to you to get rid of you, not because he hates you but because your not giving him any room to breathe.

 

A heifer is a cow right? Well in any case namecalling is wrong, but in his uncontrollable leashing out its not suprising he fired at your friends too.

 

Personally i think you should be more carefull in future relationships. You know many people at first can show all being nice and lovely dovely, but in a few months their real character comes out, im not sure if this can work out, maby if he apologizes and you give him more room and time to do his own thing, but he also has to apologize to your friend, because it was pretty much uncalled for.

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I agree with the others to a point. It does sound like he lashed out in anger and frustration because you lined up your friends against him. So he felt ganged up on. Of course it's normal to run to your friends for support because you were hurt, but it's not a good thing to try to have friends intervene on your behalf.

 

I wouldn't talk to him for awhile. How long that is depends on how you are feeling. If you are still feeling very hurt and angry, then I'd wait. Those are the times when you can say or do something which is difficult or impossible to take back. So don't talk to him until you have a clear head and can be calm.

 

You need to also ask yourself whether you can still be friends with him without it causing you more pain. Some people can do that, others can't. You may need a clean break just so you can feel better about things.

 

*hugs*

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