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Background, my first reaching out email a week before the next one


Hey XXXXX, as you have noticed I haven’t been emailing a lot lately. I’ve had lots on my mind these past weeks exclusively about you and me.


I love you, but I can only love when being loved in return. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I know you’ve been through such traumatic events, and I'm willing to try and slowly build on something. I’ve done a lot of reading and background on rape and sexual assaults. If you need someone to lean on, then let it be me.


I can only tell you what you can do, but it is you that will have to do this. I just want you to know you’re not alone, choose to try and work with me. I know you have fears of being alone and having to confront the issue of the assault. I know you feel almost at fault for allowing it to happen, but it’s not your fault. I know trust is a big thing you need to work on, and I’m willing to work with you, I need you though to choose me, to trust me, and respect where I’m coming from.


I can be very patient, I just need some sign that your willing to work on things, and that you love yourself and me to get through and see a counselor.


Also if you want more support, I will also see a counselor for my anger issues. I hope you understand where im coming from. I love you alot and want to start healing this rift that is between us.



I found these sites about recovery that are anonymous if you should be interested I think that can be helpful.



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I sent my gf(ex?) this message after feeling unsatasified with her effort. Were in an LDR as of the moment.


First off I just wanted to say thank you for the numerous great times we shared. You have been an exciting part of my past and I will remember it always. That is just it though, you are my past. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and by ending our

relationship twice now, you have demonstrated that we were never on the same page.


Your silence is everything, All I can do is be myself and love the way I

love, and I'm done compromising how I feel to make you feel as good about

yourself especially when I get nothing but cold emails in return. I learned

once before not to sacrifice too much of myself, and I let what happened to

you justify the way you would treat me but thats no longer the case


How deeply I love you, I now love myself more, I cannot sit back and settle for being friends, I cannot settle for second while you live your life. I hope you achieve everything you want in life; after all you’ve been through you earned it.

Love, michael

so She replied with this.


1) I have been working 90 hour weeks and have no time for anyone...and NO time for even writing emails. So, I am NOT ignoring you I am just too busy...


2) If this is how you feel then...go with it. Whatever you want, it's your choice. Do what makes you happy.


3) Good luck to you


I'm not sure how I should respond, Im leaning toward telling her either she starts making more of an effort or this is it. But I kinda feel thats what I said in the first email..

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Hey Mike-


Dude, I see no hint of a crumb of a shred of doubt in my mind that this thing is clearly done. Read what you wrote again. You can see and know the situation. You know she is emotionally gone. You pour your heart out and look at her response! What would you post to a thread exactly like this someone else started?


Let it go Mike. You can't fix her and you can't fix this because there is nothing to fix. Set yourself (and her) free already. You see it, now accept it and believe it because it is very obvious to me. Nothing needs to be said. She's said it, she knows it, you said it, and you know it.

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Hey Mike,


I agree w. Friscodj.

You made two honest attempts to reach out to her (although the second one was kind of a good-bye letter, was it not?? ).


Based on her terse response to your heartfelt letters, IMO, she has already emotionally distanced herself from this relationship, like FDJ says.


I am sorry if I am being too blunt here but if she is saying she's too busy to read or respond to emails, what makes you think she's going to agree to investing time she's already said she does NOT have to put more effort into making a relationship work?


Consequently, I think you should just let her be ...


Just my two cents worth ...


Take care 1:

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Sorry that you are going through this.


Her email was fairly blunt. If you love someone, working 90+ hours or not, you're at least going to email them! She didn't even seem phased that you were ending the relationship (I assume that's what you were getting at with your email).


A weird response if I ever read one. "If this is how you feel...then go with it" Them's not fighting words.


Sorry, but I think it is over. You sound like a great guy. Find someone who appreciates you. Sorry if that sounds blunt, but you deserve better!



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