I can't take the pain.

[Thiscantbe]

I have been having crying fits for 4 days now. This guy I was dating broke up with me last Friday and it hurts like hell.](*,)

 

I want him back so badly and I miss him terribly but there is nothing I can do to make him want me back. It's over. He just wants to be friends. The funny thing is that I pushed him away at first in the beginning but he persisted. It was like the minute he won me over, he started to lose interest. Very strange.

 

I don't understand. What did I do wrong? I think the world of him. I adore him to pieces but he said he lost feelings for me and just wants to be friends. I told him that wouldn't work for me. It would be too painful. It's now Tuesday and I still have crying fits but now its worse. It escapes me at my desk at work sometimes.

 

How can he be so cold? He was so smitten and he came on so strong in the beginning. I have never felt this way before for anyone and I really thought he cared. Now he's bolted and I'm left with an empty heart and feeling like a fool. Why me? Please help me with good advice. I want the pain to go away.](*,)

[hosswhispra]

You will need to avoid any type of contact with him for awhile, before even exploring the possibility of being friends. The time apart is necessary. You will go through an emotional process (a myriad of emotions- denial, anger, sadness, bargaining and acceptance) to grieve the end of this relationship. You will feel empty for awhile, then slowly you will get better. This is not to say that each day you will feel better and better. You will have some periodic emotional 'bumps' on your road to healing. But one day you will feel like yourself again.

 

hugs,

hosswhispra

[Layword]

Dear Thiscantbe,

 

I wish I could comfort you, I really do. I can't tell you he'll come back, or that he'll change his mind and come running back admitting his mistakes. No, I can't make your pain disappear, I can't make your feelings for him dissipate. But I want to be there for you, your not alone, i'm here, we're here. Let your heart spill it's pain, we'll catch you, your loved.

 

Don't you understand what it is that you're doing to yourself? You have to let go of this guy, he's not the only one. I know that letting go is hard, I know that it will take awhile, but I know you can do this.

 

He's just one guy in a million that wants to get into your pants. Your a super girl, I know it. If you really truly want to let go, then do NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. That's the hardest thing you can do. Nothing, yeah, don't call, don't e-mail, don't talk to him. Please, I know it sounds hard, but don't talk to him. If you truly want to heal, then let go, take a deep breath and let go.

-With much love-

LayWord

 

Cheers~

[hosswhispra]

If you really truly want to let go, then do NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. That's the hardest thing you can do. Nothing, yeah, don't call, don't e-mail, don't talk to him. Please, I know it sounds hard, but don't talk to him. If you truly want to heal, then let go, take a deep breath and let go.

 

^ Really good advice.

[kadvati79]

And even if you don't truly want to let go, the advice is good too

 

Keep trucking along, express yourself here, and remember each day is a new one and eventually the pain changes and things look a little brighter, but it does take time. Let yourself grieve a little and get back in touch with friends, they can support you.

 

As they say; the first cut is the deepest.

[confused25]

Sorry to hear about your breakup! Looks like we're on the same boat! I was in your shoes about a month ago when my ex broke up with me out of the blue. He was my first love and I was devasted! I knew that nothing I could do or say would make him come back to me because he had his mind made up. I cried EVERYDAY for two weeks straight! I am just now starting to feel a little bit better . . . I've been crying less, and have been starting to feel less angry and bitter about the breakup. The only advice I can give you is to keep yourself busy and fight the urge to contact him. I've been hanging out with my friends a lot and that helped me take my mind of things. I also find talking about the breakup with my friends to be helpful. It will be tough at the beginning, but trust me, it will get better . . .