HELP! I have trust issues..and more

[lolly]

My boyfriend and I got back together a few days ago.

 

I dont want the same problems we had before. I have a problem with former flames being around, as well as ex girlfriends. I believe my boyfriend still likes the girl he was dating while we were broken up. He has stated there was a connection, not physical tho.

 

How do I handle that?

 

I also have trust issues. I think its more myself, than anyone. Like I have stated I have had bad experiences in the past with my boyfriends and their exs. I guess you could say I pushed them back in their ex's arms. I would moan, I dont want you talking to that girl..etc. And in turn it made my ex's hide things from me. Like they spoke with them, or they saw them. And I already had that problem with my now boyfriend once. And I want to stop the cycle. And maybe make the relationship more healthy.

 

How do I go about that? I have had several people point out to me where "hey he chose you, he loves you not that girl" and at times, it seems as if, that wont stay in my head, and I will over react to something so stupid.

 

I have actually thought at times, that I was bi-polar, and maybe need meds or counseling. Which honestly, I have dealt depression most of my life, and this year has not been the best compared to others. Part me of also things, if I can deal wth my insecurties on my own, I can be ok again.

 

And that other girl he dated, I recently saw her out at a bar while the boyfriend and I were there...Me undermining her will only make me look bad. I dont want that. It honestly annoys the hell out of me, that he still looks at her myspace page, like he has an interest. She is still on his friends list. But over all he feels he shouldnt have to delete her as a friend, on his myspace page, or if she were to call, he doesnt feel he has to tell her not to call.

 

I wonder if he starts convos with her on Aim.

 

I feel so freaking psycho, when I even think about this. Part of me trusts him, but part of doesnt. The part that doesnt is about this other girl. And I think I have made it that way. And I want to stop it.

 

I havent checked his myspace since we got back together. (When he regave me the password) I have his passwords to everything, so which means he isnt trying to hide anything.

 

How can I stop myself, from pushing him to believe he has to hide stuff from me. I am trying to let go and not complain about this.

 

I screwed up on Saturday because I was drinking.

 

I am trying to avoid conversations about things of that nature.

 

Advice please!

[lolly]

WEll i got nervous, and checked his yahoo email...that girl he dated sent him a message on myspace...and he hasnt told me yet...I know I shouldnt be spying....but I have really been good for since we got back together...

 

and i need to do better...but it hurts that he wont tell me...and I am sure it hurts that he feels he cant trust me...but I am trying...please help...I have a huge problem

[lovecrazy]

maybe you should just let go...it would help