When is flirting cheating?

[ForAnother]

I find it devious and disrespectful. I would not do it if you really like her.

 

-ForAnother

[Momene]

Not an easy answer there and you'll get lots of different opinions. The fact that you are doing it behind her back suggests that, in her eyes, it is cheating and, as you've hidden it from her, she may be suspicious that it is more advanced than it is.

 

I may sound boring on this but if you value your long-term relationship, I would be more cautious.

 

Good luck.

[DizzyDoris]

Just be very careful, yes ive been there. I was one of the women you describe. I got chatting to a lovely man in the same situation as you. His girlfriend didnt/doesnt know he chats to other girls online. We hit it off so well, had so much in common that we eventually ended up meeting, which escalated into an affair. It didnt last beyond 2 months, the guilt got the better of us both, and we both vowed we will never do anything like that again, i am in a wonderful new relationship now and his girlfriend is still in the dark, but he is trying to make things work and seems happy. But he admitted he wasnt happy when he first started chatting with me.

 

If you dont think you are out of order here and think you are doing nothing wrong, i have to ask why you are not being honest, why have you not told your girlfriend that you do this?

[barbielovesmac]

I disagree strongly with flirting while in a relationship. I think the fact that you are doing it behind her back might make her suggest that there is more to it then just, "innocent flirting online." I would be furious to know that my boyfriend was flirting online, or flirting in general. There is a line that you just do not cross when you are in a relationship for respect out of your mate. I agree with ForAnother, if you value what you've got then you need to be more cautious. Because what you might think is "innocent flirting." may be more to her, especially behind her back.

[barbielovesmac]

good point preston

[RayKay]

I love to chat online to women - and flirt maybe just a little - I make it clear when that is happening. Some friends, who may be women, are just that, friends. I don’t flirt with everyone I chat to.

 

But my permanent partner is in the dark. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I consider that flirting on line is an innocent pastime - but is it? When does flirting count as cheating?

 

Love to hear your views - have you been there?

 

If you consider it so innocent, why is your partner in the dark about it?

 

I would say flirting counts as cheating when you are not honest about it, and know that your partner would feel hurt and betrayed by it.

 

Why do you feel the need to do it too? Does it maybe signal something missing in your relationship?

 

I would also have to ask are you flirting with friends, or are you seeking out women to actually firt with? Some people are just flirtatious in general with everyone, but if you seek out people to flirt with, there is more to it than it being part of your character and your way of "charming people".

 

I would say many people can "flirt" and not even know it, but I would say if you are consciously doing it, keeping partner in dark about it, you already know that you are crossing some line in your relationship.

[locolady]

why not flirt with your girlfriend? couldnt you put the energy into the relationship you have rather than spending time dipping in and out of ones that dont exist in reality just chat rooms? wouldnt you get more satisfaction from spicing things up with a real person?

 

this sort of thing exasperates me - i just think if you were getting all you needed and wanted from your relationship you wouldnt be chatting to other women?

 

raykays is a really good post - the difference between having a charming flirtacious personality and actively setting up situations that are based on you flirting....

[bryant000]

Think of it this way, one of those girls you are flirting with is your girlfriend, unbeknownst to you...... Im sure she wouldn't be too impressed discovering you do flirt online with others... my question is why do you need or want to? Looking for something that doesn't exist or you already has, maybe? More than likely, it would hurt her feelings very much, if she cares about you, and I'm sure she does! So, don't get caught!!!

link removed