Am I falling out of love?

[Mike17]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years, she is my first actual relationship, and we met in highschool, were friends for about a year before dating.

 

We have always been the perfect match, and we have so much fun together, I fell so hard for her it was ridiculiouse. Now I realise we are both young and this always happens when it's your first love, but I'm not really like that, I'm a really grounded person and there has never been a lot of drama in my life.

 

I feel terrible, but lately I'm been having doubts about our relationship. The worst part is, I have no idea why, theres no red flags, we don't fight at all, we still have lots of fun together, she's completely understanding and accomodating regarding my busy schedule, by all accounts I should be happy.

 

I really don't want to break up with her, I'm afraid if I do, i'll realise someday that I made a horrible mistake and then it will be too late. A part of me thinks we are ment to be together, but sometimes i can't shake the feeling of wanting to breakup,

 

Maybe it's because I'v never been with anyone else that i wonder what its like or something, maybe we just need to spend some time apart, i don't know, it's a big blur to me, someone help me out here.

[hosswhispra]

Uncertainty is a normal feeling. But remember what they say when they say the grass always looks greener on the other side---until you get there. Well, I firmly believe in that saying.

[Aschleigh]

It certainly is natural to wonder what other relationships are like if you have only been in one your whole life.

I guess the thing to weigh is losing her and experiencing other relationships VS. staying with her and not experienceing them.

Either way, statistically you will be in other relationships in your life. This probably isn't your last one. So then it's timing, do you want to be with her now or do you want to experience being single and dating now?

Your choice.

[hosswhispra]

I noticed (in general) most lasting relationships occur when a couple meets during the college age (18-24). Most married people meet during the college years. If they did not date during college, they wind up bumping into each other later on and dating. So take a look at your current circle of friends....the one you marry may be right in front of your eyes. If not in 5 more years...then 10 years. Once you get into your 30's it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Just something I have taken notice of....I absolutely do not have any 'scientific' evidence to back this statement up with. So take my opinion for what it is worth.....

[Mike17]

thanks for your advice guys,

 

The truth is I want to try and make it work, statistics are just numbers they don't mean anything, I believe that resorting to statistics for rationalization is just taking the easy way out, I really don't mean any offence and i'm not trying to put anyone down, but i think that most of the time there is a way to make the relationship work. The problem is I don't know how, she knows nothing about any of this and I would rather not say anything, I don't know what I have to do to realise how great she is and how lucky I am to have her.

[Ninako]

The best thing you can do is talk to her about your feelings. If you feel perhaps you need some time apart, talk to her about that too. Sometimes a break can be a good thing. You don't necessarily have to break up. Talk to her, perhaps settle an agreement to not see each other for a week. You can still talk, and that's ok. If you need more than a week, then take it. Theres nothing wrong with taking a breather, its a perfect time to reflect on everything as well. Just keep in mind, if after a month or two of not seeing each other, and if it gets as far as needing to stop talking so much, then perhaps its time to really let it go. If you decide to see other people while your still together, you can end up hurting your girl, and like wise, even if its a mutual agreement. Remember the best thing u can do for you and your girl is to tlak. She cant get mad, because you came to her to tlak about it first and you should both work on the relationship together, instead of just calling all the shots.