why am I so jealous?

[Smashley]

i love my best friend sooo much. she's my other half! we do everything together, we have alot in common, and i'd basically die without her. however, there are some jealousy issues between us and i don't like it. for example, she does really well in school. i get good grades too (i have a 3.5 GPA) but it seems like no matter what i do, she beats me. i'll get an A- on an English paper, she'll get an A+. i'll get an 85 on a math quiz, she gets a 90. her GPA is a 3.9, she's acing an AP class, and she still manages to get good grades in everything else. i know it sounds stupid, but it makes me feel inadequate.

 

another issue that's been bothering me is this upcoming dance. i asked a guy i'm friends with and have a little thing for from work. she works at the same place as me, so we both know him and are both friends with him. she was going to go with another person, but it didn't work out, so now she's going alone. i understand that they are friends too, so i'll be willing to lend him to her and let them dance, but i can't help but fear it might get too overboard. she was even joking about how he'd have "two dates" and how she'd dance with him. this may seem very petty or stupid, but i'm scared that she might "take over" and go off with him. i get jealous because i know she is pretty and fun to be around, and sometimes being around her makes my confidence take a plunge downward.

 

what should i do?

[EvaGina]

Well, with the school thing, I would just let it go, do you expect her to dumb her studies down for you?

 

With the date thing, I assume she knows that you have a crush on this guy.

Firstly tho, I have a few questions, do you get jelous if she chooses to spend time with other friends over you, even if its not much time? Do you get jelous of her boyfriends? Or find youself almost getting crushes on them?

 

Although normally I would say that with the dance thing, she probably just doesnt want to feel left out and is scared that you wont really talk to her all night... what you are saying sounds dangerously like the reletionship I used to have with the girl who was my best friend.

[Smashley]

Well, with the school thing, I would just let it go, do you expect her to dumb her studies down for you?

 

no, i know that would be childish and impossible, but just the mere fact of feeling "dumber" makes me feel stupid and i don't like it. i do realize that it's a stupid thing to worry about, though.

 

With the date thing, I assume she knows that you have a crush on this guy.

Firstly tho, I have a few questions, do you get jelous if she chooses to spend time with other friends over you, even if its not much time? Do you get jelous of her boyfriends? Or find youself almost getting crushes on them?

 

i don't get jealous if she spends time with other friends because i also have friends i spend time with. if she chooses to hang out with other people, i am usually doing something else, so it doesn't bother me. i also take into consideration the fact that i hang out with people different than her so i can't get mad. as with the boyfriends, i don't tend to get jealous because i understand that guys are a totally different relationship. i realize that i'm her best friend, and we share something completely different from what they might. i don't think she gets jealous of crushes or guys i like either.

 

Although normally I would say that with the dance thing, she probably just doesnt want to feel left out and is scared that you wont really talk to her all night... what you are saying sounds dangerously like the reletionship I used to have with the girl who was my best friend.

 

this is true, and i am probably overreacting. it's just been bothering me and i needed to let it out and to see if anyone could help me

[EvaGina]

Ok, fair enough... it just sounded creepily similar for a minute, which would not have been cool at all.

 

Yeah, I would say that she probably feels a bit left out about the dance thing and she will be fine once you guys get there, but shes just scared she might be a bit of an outcast for the night

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Actually if you like this guy and this is a formal dance, and you are going on a big first date with him, it doesn't seem unreasonable to want to go on a date with him, without your friend in tow. Just tell her you're sorry but you'd rather just do this one on one with him. If she's a decent friend she'll completely understand. Maybe you could find her a date *of her own*.

 

Then maybe you could plan to have her tag along with you and him on a future date, say a matinee and mini-golf outing.