Will he ever come back to me?

[Jasrosy]

When I was 14 years old, I liked this one guy, but he didn't seem to show interest on me. Then Chris, one other guy would use to look at me, and I started to feel something nice for him. Everytime we would see each other in parties, he would always be there and asked me to dance. As time passed, he asked me out, but before then, he was dating a friend of mine, but he broke up with her. I dated Chris for some time, but then later broke because I told him that I didn't like him. He then went out with other girls, and I went out with the guy I liked in the beggining.

 

Two years passed, I was like 16 then, one morning at 2:00 am, Chris called me and told me he loved me, and that he couldn't forget about me, I confesed that I began to love him to, and I missed him, and wanted him to be there for me. I broke up with the other guy I was dating, and we started to date.

 

As time passed by, we were really happy with each other, I decided to move away to go to college, and even though it was long distance, I tried to go every week to see him. He would pay my tickets to go back home, and be there with him, and sometimes I wouln't go home, and we would stay up all night because we had nowhere to go. His parents didn't know and because our parents are old style, we wouldn't tell them that we were dating. We would go the movies, and other places, have fun, laugh, and everything was wonderful.

 

Then came the accident, on June this year, I got pregnant, and I was so scared. We have talked about this, and Chris told me that he would be there and that we would be together on this. But it was not like that, he reacted scared, and said it was best for me not to have it. I said it was okay, but later I realized that if my parents found out that I was going to have an abortion, they would never forgive me, so I decided to have it. On August 4, I married Chris, because I loved him and he told me that he loved me too. One night,he came hom drunk, and told me that he loved me a lot, and that he was really happy that we were together, and that he just realized that.

 

Little did I know, two weeks after I found out that he would talk to this girl on the phone, everysingle day, and text message themselves like like at 2 in the morning. I was devasted, I asked him to tell me the truth, and then he did. He said he didn't love me, and that he fell in love with one of the girls at work. He said he didn't know how it happened, but that was the reality, but he was hurt because she didn't want anything with him. He told me, if I would let him be with her. I was confused, but I begged him to stay with me, he did, but I asked him to not to talk to her anymore. He said he was going to do it, but he didn't, a month later, I received the bill, and he was still talking to her, and even now, she was also calling him. I called he and told her to stop, but she didn't do it, she said, it was his problem, and if she wanted to call, she can do it. At the end of September, I left home trying to scare him, but I ended up loosing. He felt free, and two days later, I came back, he kicked me out, told me a bunch of things, and I stayed there crying.

 

Since that day, I have begged him to reconsider, but he said he doesn't want to, one night he told me that he thinks he loves me because he misses me, but then the other day, he was like forget it, I don't love you, I love her. On Octuber, I went back to his home to visit, I found many pictures of him and the girl hugging, and hers just alone. I also found a letter stating that he didn't want to loose her, that he felt something really strong for her. Even though this is the case, I still love him with all my heart. He doesn't call me, and he doesn't even ask how I am or how the baby is doing. Will he come back to me, is he really in love with the other girl, I mean we were in love for 5 years, and he just fell in love with her easily with out even actually being with her for a long time. The only reason I am asking is because I love, and as much as I try to forget him, I can't. It hurts seeing him with her, but I can not control myself.

[heap23]

I think that your love for him was never real in the first place. You dumped him because you didn't love him.

He called you randomly at 2am, and you both confessed your love for each other?

 

You never told your parents about this relationship, yet you end up marrying him not long after?

 

 

 

Anyway, are you guys still married?

 

And how long have those two been together now, if your still married, suggest marital classes. Or something. To me it sounds like you two married too fast, too young.

[blender]

perhaps this painful lesson is meant to be so YOU can be free to explore the wonderful endless options of your future... You have your whole life ahead of you, be kind to yourself, let go, and think about all the great guys you will meet by just starting to work on your self, and get your own life going, beyond the past, the best is AHEAD of you, not behind you, lessons are behind you, and now the more knowledgable you can take one baby step at a time into a future of wonderful things....

[Jasrosy]

thanks, we are still married, but we are not together anymore. I didn't know what I wanted when I was 14 years old, but now, the whole pregnancy things has changed me, and I actually want a family. He called me randomly and we confessed that he stilled had feeling for me, and I confessed that I actually like him after all the things he told me. Since that day, and three years of relationship, we have always told each about our love. I love this guy, and he states that he loved me a lot, but he doesn't love me anymore, because he fell in love with the other girl, without him noticing, but I can't forget about him. I want him to be there, but he is not, and I was just wondering if he will ever come back to me or never? He and the other girl met each other around the time I got pregnant, that was around May of this year. I didn't know, but by the phone bills, that seems to be the time, they started to talk and a month later, they talk even more, and more often.

[blender]

Please do not make your sick over this other girl, she won't make any difference in his life, it's when we actually take the time to be on our own, that we actually grow and change, he made a mistake by "overlapping" the relationships, the chances of it working out with this girl are VERY LOW.. just based on how it started..

 

so please remember that no matter who he is with, there HE is...

 

he has to live with his own choices, for now I know you feel so devasted by this "loss" of what you "hoped could be" with him, but now you can try to "accept" who he "actually is",

 

and the new girl will have to realize that he started his relatoinship while he was still involved with you and she will learn, "if he'll do "with" her, then he'll do it "to" her eventually as well"..

 

You have the gift of this time on your own, to develop your own sense of self, you independence, your freedom to explore any possiblities for YOUR future, but him, well he's stuck, he's just continued on the path of self denial, and starting this relationship as he did, "like a victim of not knowing it he was even falling in love" ugh..that is just a sign of his immaturity, and no one, not you, not her, can cure him of this..

 

If you want a family some day, and love in your life, you will have it, and sure someday it might be with him, but for right now the best thing you can do is to take care of YOURSELF.

 

Remember he is not thee only guy in the world for you, it just "seems" that way right now, he is who you are "used to" and you may find out in time he was a "bad habit" one you need to break for today...

 

This is the time for you to gain the gift of clarity and perspective, take advantage of this time, try not to think of it as HE walked away to someone else, but instead that FATE has given YOU an opportunity to grow, and perhaps see what life is like on your own, and once you find a center in yourself of confidence you will attract the most wonderful man into your life.

 

Right now your ex is NOT a wonderful man, he is a confused, relationship overlapping, attracted by the "newness" of this woman, but it's not a deep long lasting love, if it were, he would have started it the "right and decent" way, after he had time on his own, after he broke up with you, taken a year or so to figure out his OWN LIFE ON HIS OWN, but he didn't and it will cost him, he will have to get another "life lesson" and I think it will be when Karma creeps up and this "new" girl moves on from him.. or he meets another "overlap"... either way YOU have been spared...

 

YOU are free to go find YOURSELF, your own happiness, make your life better, take a class, join a gym, meet new friends.. redecorate your room, whatever, DO SOMETHING for yourself today...

[Jasrosy]

Thank you for all your advice, it really helps. You are right, maybe I need to focus in my baby, I mean after he is not responsible for the problems that I have. All the time, his dad hasn't been around, it has hurt him more than it has hurt me, because he is still in me, but hopefully not anymore. Thank you.