Dating Etiquette

[WrongTurn435]

Hi, my question is for those that are "committed" or have a SO. When you are committed, have you ever shown interest or flirted with another individual? Presumably, there are numerous that have, but my question is why?

 

Although I have no dating experience to speak of at this point in time, there have been multiple occasions at which women had become either friendly or flirtatious towards me despite the fact that they were supposedly committed to somebody else. Of course, I had no intent of making anything of it knowing full well their "commitment," but there must be some level of rationality for such behaviour.

 

Now, seeing that I titled this thread as dating etiquette, it is quite clear that this is a question pertinent to moral standards. In other words, what are the limitations as to what action a person can pursue so as not to "break" the rules of dating etiquette? Personally, if somebody explicitly states that they are committed, I would stay far away, but is it mostly always going to be a negative outcome if another action is taken?

 

I ask simply because of the fact that this has happened to me on multiple occasions and I find it to be rather odd behaviour for people that make the claim of being "committed." Of course, if their marital status were different, this wouldn't be an issue at all and I'd more than likely no longer be flying solo.

[Lily04]

hey,

 

I feel the same way. Check out my thread.......WHY do guys hit on/ask out girls if they haev a girlfriend? I think it's so rude and shows a complete lack of commitment. If my boyfriend did that in turn and it was only a "one night thing" or he dismissed it as not being important, I would still be really hurt and might even dump him........it just really shows a lack of respect for our relationship and commitment.

 

Some guys do it (and girls too) but they're players. If you don't haev a gf/bf and are just 'playing the field' that's fine, as you haevn't decided on a commitment with anyone, and you're just meeting people at that point. But once you have started going steady with someone it is NOT cool to ask out other girls!!!

[Batya33]

To me cheating is to have sexual contact with another person. Then there are rules of etiquette, I agree. Harmless flirting is fine especially if the other person knows you have a boyfriend and you are friends with that person. I have a married friend - been friends for over 10 years - and he says flirty things to me because he knows - 100%! - that I would never ever take it seriously. if someone I don't know compliments me in a respectful way about my appearance I might say thank you - and it might be said in a flirty way - but that is it.

 

If I am at an event where there are single men and I am not with my boyfriend I try if it is appropriate to mention my boyfriend within the conversation so that they know that I am attached. If he is not openly flirting I might not mention it because it is awkward if we are talking business.

 

I harmlessly flirt once in awhile because it is fun - not in a power/lead him on way - but because it can make the other person feel good, me feel good and there is no expectation that it means anything beyond the fun flattery.

 

And - I know it when I see it - I know when it crosses the line and I know what to do - right away - if it does.

[Scotcha]

I find flirtation to be somewhat instinctual.. It's not so much what you say, it's how you say it. Or it's not so much what you do, it's how you do it.

 

There have been times I have flirted even though I am 100% committed to my boyfriend. But I didn't set out to flirt, it is just something that happened during an innocent conversation. Sometimes I just feel like flirting isn't something you can totally prevent. (Even though there is the possibility to set out to or provoke flirtation.)

 

But when I am with someone I never flirt in a physical manner. (ie: hugs or lighting touching with my hand and what not) I also never hide my relationship or make myself appear to be available in any way.