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well, let me start by saying that i feel for everyone that is going through hard times with a breakup... i was there (a few times actually) with my ex not so long ago (april to be exact...) and i thought it was the end of my world. i couldn't eat, sleep, do homework, study... i honestly felt as though my life was over (we dated over 4 years...) and i would be on these boards HOURS at a time... looking for hope, looking for people that got back together with ex's and worked things out. i felt lost and alone...


i went through a really tough time this summer, thought about transferring schools so i wouldn't see the ex with his new gf, had more sleepless nights... cried more than i thought was possible... then something sort of clicked. i was still sad about the breakup but i knew at that point that we just were not meant to be together, and i was ready to accept it. i went out with a guy for a little over a month, but that turned out pretty ugly (he was moving soon and didn't really want to start anything serious...) but i didn't let it get me down...


fast forward 7 months.... and the reason i am on the board today.......


IT DOES GET BETTER, i just want everyone that is going through tough times to know that!!!!! i never thought i would be ok with things, or happy again, but BELIEVE me, it does happen! you just have to let it happen!!!! the first time we broke up, i spent 8 months in agony over it... i didn't want to live the rest of my life that way this time, so i did something about it. i didn't just sit around and cry... i got involved in a club on campus, started working more hours, hung out with my friends more... and the best part........


met someone AMAZING! we have only been dating a little over a month, but i have totally fallen for him! we were friends for over a year (he was here through both of my breakups with my 4 year ex) and actually asked me out after the first breakup. i wasn't really "feeling it" at that point, and we lost touch over the summer... well i just happened to see him on campus at the beginning of the semester, and we exchanged hi's and i thought "what the heck, im going to see what he is up to these days!" he has totally amazed me since... we recently took a roadtrip together, and it was honestly one of the best trips of my life! it was amazing... he is amazing!!


so yeah, i am sorry to go on and on about this, but i just can't emphasize enough that WITH TIME, it does get better... and even though what you really want right now might be to get back with the ex.... it *might* not work out that way (not saying it won't...) but just know, if it doesn't, there is someone out there that will appreciate and love you!!! you WILL feel happiness (i know that at times it feels impossible)


i now see my ex every couple of weeks on campus (always with his new gf) and i am OK with it! i am actually VERY happy for them! they seem happy together, and i only wish them the best!!!


well, i was kind of all over the place with this post, but i just felt that i should put this out there! if ANYONE wants to talk or just needs someone to listen, i am here... and trust me, i know what it is like! i was there, like i said, a few times with my ex!!!!

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its not an easy thing to go thru eh? and u can be sure the other person is dealing with things the best way they can as well. everyone heals and forgives and accepts in their own unique way and its not a race and you don't heal the same way as the other person because u are not them - lol. duh! smart eh! little things helped me [my story is similiar to what u posted]. for example: a few nights back i was having a down period and i even though i know i should never have done it, i call my ex at a place and time where she would not be there to answer just to leave a brief apology [100th time - lol] and tell her i hope she is doing well and, to be honest, to hear her voice - and guess what? she sounded so together on her message, and i had forgotten how totally professional she can be during anything - and what struck me was the tone, the pace and the overall way her voice sounded - and i thought, man, she is way over all this stuff and here i am still lollygagging behind - it was a great kick in the butt to giddy up cowboy. i am glad i called and that she didn't freak out that i did [at least i think that].

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What an inspiring post! I am in the exact same situation- broke up with ex back in March/April, went through hell, and have now found someone amazing. More importantly- I found myself in these last seven months. (Even if I hadn't met this new guy, I was finally so happy with myself alone that it didn't even matter). It's hard to see through the dark times, but it really does get better. You said it perfectly!

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congrats nw30. i have a few more wrinkles to iron out before i am ready to jump back into the relationship arena but i no longer feel bad about myself nor need any validation on my self worth from anyone other than myself. i've gone thru some really wicked times and i am still here so that alone feels great. best of luck with yer new love.

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