The direct approach?

[dil]

right thanks.

 

I have some fans online...

 

they say: "Ditch that mother f er"

 

They won't put up with someone jacking me around in any amount.

[Cloud802]

And you shouldn't put up with it either.

 

Ugh, still tired.

[dil]

I think I've forgiven him for all that.

 

and before I was thinking he was totally wrong for me..I am a true pushover.

[Cloud802]

Hey, I know you're off now but I'll leave you a post anyways. You are letting him see you as a pushover, I was guilty of the same mistake a year ago, please try not to let it happen to you.

[dil]

Okay...I'll list off the guys I've known that were smarter than me, but were jerks...wait, that's all of them.

 

1. strong atheist guy owner of a prominent strong atheism website, very intelligent, very arrogant, arrogant enough to tell me: "No, you've got it all wrong." He was telling me, the artist, of this one piece that I had 'interpreted' my own piece of art wrong. Wow.

2. Philosophy genius, had the balls to give me a lecture on how I was being 'closed minded and simple' because I posited that the universe could very much be 'just is', a logical progression from ockham's razor, which isn't a bad thing to posit considering we may simply have no idea and I accept the big bang theory for now until some new evidence arrives. At the end of this rather unpleasant lecture he pointed to the window and said 'you might as well join the plebs outside'.

3. Another extremeluy intelligent philosophy friend, called me an idiot in the middle of a debate about the cartoon riots. He had no right to, in the end, I think I came off on top.

4. In this one forum, there was this guy who was *extremely* intelligent, I debated with him 12 pages on morality, because I was a moral subjectivist, and he was a moral objectivist. In the middle of the debate he called me a stupid nihilist *****. The sad thing is, in the end, we both agreed values were in fact subjective, and we were just argueing over small details.

[Cloud802]

Ouch. Well, I'm not really atheist, but I don't really follow a religion either, and I got into an argument with one of my friends.

 

Basically, his argument was that God created everything and there is not evolution or the big bang, end of story.

 

My argument was that there was something like the big bang that created everything, and that we may not have evolved from monkeys because of the whole missing link thing, but we evolved from something. Evolution has happened to every other animal, why wouldn't it happen to us as humans.

 

I personally believe there is a higher power such as God, but we as humans have know clue what it is, for all we no the word God can't describe it.

 

And he went on to rabble about how we can't possibly evolve and about how gravity is just a force created by God, he got so mad at me he started yelling that I was an ignorant idiot and ran off. ME the ignorant one?

 

Back on subject, arrogance isn't always a bad thing, but it seems to be in the men you have met.

[dil]

Your friend is an idiot. I turn into a bit of a monster whenever I'm debating certain things like politics or god..

 

link removed

 

(my strong atheism page)

 

we didn't evolve from monkies BTW, it was apes. And we have a substantial amount of evidence for evolution and the big band theory, while creationism has nothing, nada jack sh it.

 

even though I'm a strong atheist, I kinda dislike my own kind, they're kinda overly arrogant...and sometimes pretty mean (from my experience).

[dil]

I never have this expression IRL, but I was acting out my evil self for fun:

[Don_Eduardo]

I never have this expression IRL, but I was acting out my evil self for fun

 

You're pretty

[dil]

by pretty, you mean pretty scary right?

[Cloud802]

I would have to agree with Don, but also with the pretty scary part.

 

Shutting up now.

[dil]

this is how I look normally, but I don't normally have my hair tied back...hmm.

 

definitely have a black leather jacket on, and I do have reddish hair (ya rock on..)

[Cloud802]

Is that where you're going to school?

[dil]

Is that where you're going to school?

 

no, that was a university I toured, I was accepted into the two I applied for.

[Don_Eduardo]

by pretty, you mean pretty scary right?

 

No, you're just fine the way you are

[charley]

Well, maybe the direct approach is what you need to try. It might work. No one can predict for sure what would happen since we don't know the guy, or you that well. Even if I knew both of you well, I still couldn't predict what would happen for sure. The only thing we know for sure is that doing nothing isn't working for you. So try.

 

Go ahead and try it. If he's a decent guy, but he's not interested in you that way, he'll still be nice about it. If he is interested, then maybe it'll work, if he's not to shy.

 

I suggest you first step back and not like this guy so much though. Liking him to much ahead of time is putting extra pressure on you and adding to your fears. Work at liking him a bit less and not putting him on a pedestal first.

 

If you can like him some, but not to much, it will be much easier to talk to him and to be direct.

 

Also, when you are direct, try letting him know you like him without going into to much detail or poems about liking him. That would put to much pressure on him.

 

Just try to casually tell him you like him without making to big a deal of it to him, and without it being to big a deal in your mind. Then ask him out.

 

I think that's your best chance. But be mentally prepared to shrug it off as no big deal if he doesn't want to date. If you can make this not a big deal in your mind ahead of time, it will be easier for both of you when you ask him out and if you don't get the date, then it will be easier for you to deal with that.

 

Good luck.

 

P.S. - if he's shy, then it's all the more important that you act like I like you in a no big deal kind of way. That way you can be direct without scaring him any more than necessary.

[dil]

thanks, I think I'll do that.

 

well, I already asked him if he wanted to go skiing with me and my friends over the holiday, he said 'yes.'

 

but I'm afraid he'll go back to his own country for the christmas...(he lives on campus) and I'll muck up my opportunity.

 

those pain poems weren't about this particular guy, it's just my history of festering in a room by myself and not letting on that I like them.

[CynicalGuitarist]

I think you should take the direct approach. I've tried the "mixed signal" thing myself... and it just doesn't work for me... all it did was make me the human doormat for all my single male "friends" to walk all over me. Now I'm sad, lonely, and scared of admitting my true feelings to a woman because of what they've done to me in the past. Since I don't want anyone else to feel this way, all I can say is do what I never did and just "go for it". If he doesn't like you, then it's his loss. I hate to admit it, but it really is that simple.

[Rocktashot]

i like when a girl just comes up to me ... and what red queen said

[dil]

I don't think he likes me anymore.

 

Oh well...

 

I ought to just back off and damnit, why'd I have to lend him that book, now I have to get it back from him.

[CynicalGuitarist]

In that case, I'd say the poor guy is missing out. I mean, you're beautiful AND intelligent!? Jeez, you should see how hard it is to find that in somebody around where I live.

[bitbit]

how about you try to be positive? i've read a lot of your posts and they're all riddled with depression, anxiety, self pity and self doubt. would you be attracted to a guy who practically tells you, "don't be attracted to me"? try smiling, maybe he'd treat you to the play.

[Beec]

how about you try to be positive? i've read a lot of your posts and they're all riddled with depression, anxiety, self pity and self doubt. would you be attracted to a guy who practically tells you, "don't be attracted to me"? try smiling, maybe he'd treat you to the play.

 

Yes.

 

Smile at him, give him some upbeat attention. Then don't, then do. On and off and on and off.

[dil]

In that case, I'd say the poor guy is missing out. I mean, you're beautiful AND intelligent!? Jeez, you should see how hard it is to find that in somebody around where I live.

 

"more brain, more pain"

 

I can be upbeat, I am, half the time.

 

I was pretty much, but I got too clingy. I think. I think I should broaden my horizons.

[Cloud802]

Broaden your horizons like how?