The Waiting is Unbearable

[Anastasia_Mixali]

I am 18 and have never had a serious boyfriend. I don't mind it, but everyone around me has some significant other, and it makes me feel lonely. I have been asked out by a couple guys, but I'm not attracted to them at all, and I really don't have time for a serious thing. However, I am worried that when I finally do have time, and want a boyfriend, the well will be dry. I don't want to compromise-I want to wait for the perfect man for me. Is there hope? Am I expecting too much?

[honeyspur]

If you are impatient, it shows and comes off as desperation. I know you are not desperate - that is clear.

But it can come off that way to others.

However, I think you know what you want and should be willing to wait for it.

In no way will the well be dry. There are millions of people on earth and you may just need to go a little furthur from the tree to find someone you like.

 

Letting go of the impatience is the key and remember it is a conscious choice. Impatience doesn't show up or fade away on it's own - it has to be chosen.

 

And you will find him - it's just impossible to know when.....

[Batya33]

Make sure the well is not dry - for yourself. Make sure you are working towards career goals - the right college, a major that is both fulfilling and practical - and of course activities that interest you - sports, community theater, arts activities, volunteer work, anything that brings out your talents. You only see couples - you have no idea if they are truly good for each other or to each other. I used to prioritize having someone above all else - and that was a big mistake. Luckily I knew enough to prioritize "me" as well so I took the right path anyway. But the perspective that you should have a boyfriend is so damaging to self esteem.

[filmraven]

you remind me of myself at 18! I had been asked by one (and one only...) guy and I wasn't even attracted to him-and I don't just mean physically.

 

For the rest of the year instead of taking it out on myself I just threw myself into life and the enjoyments that can come from that. I work in film and have a huge passion for different facets of the industry so I started taking courses and became reeeally happy from taking those classes. As a result I grabbed the attention of a guy I didn't even catch a glimpse of in one of my courses (because he said I looked really happy and confident...to be honest, it was just because I was having a good time!) and the rest they say is history. Well, that relationship was, ha! But it somehow got the wheels going and I went on to date several people with out a problem. Five years later...I live with my bf and I am as happy as a clam!

 

My biggest lesson: it's all about feeling genuinely confidant in yourself and in what you're doing with your life. Once you arrive to that point it seems to rub off on people and especially guys.

[Anastasia_Mixali]

Thank You so much- You have all been a great help.

[EvaGina]

Aww sweetheart

I had plenty of boyfriends and things, but no one serious until i was 19... being with him made me realise that its really worth holding on until you find someone awesome.

 

Dont get me wrong, I am open to casual dating and sex and things, but I wont commit myself unless I am totally swept off my feet.

 

I say good on you for not giving in and just dating someone for the hell of it.

Someone will come along, just try to put your feelers out a bit more if you feel like the "well is dry". Go out, meet new people...

When I moved to a new city and didnt know anyone, I found myspace was an awesome way to meet people in my area, I didnt date any of them, but I did meet a hell of a lot of new ppl, went to parties and gigs and things... Im sure if I had been looking for somthing, I would have found it

 

Good luck button

[wexmen]

love will come to you naturally and unexpectedly,

 

as what you said you just did not feel any connection with them, but why don't you give them more time to prove themselves like make friends first and try to learn more from them instead of everything is based on the date .

 

remember , love is like a flower need time and attention to grow it up .

 

to me , know more about a person in a first place before start a relationship

is better than a first time meet.

[iwishiknew]

 

I am 18 and have never had a serious boyfriend. I don't mind it, but everyone around me has some significant other, and it makes me feel lonely. I have been asked out by a couple guys, but I'm not attracted to them at all, and I really don't have time for a serious thing. However, I am worried that when I finally do have time, and want a boyfriend, the well will be dry. I don't want to compromise-I want to wait for the perfect man for me. Is there hope? Am I expecting too much?

 

 

You still young! You have alot of time..Unlike me

[blender]

you're waiting for a "perfect" man? well a "perfect person" doesn't exsist, but yes you should only date men who you find attractive, who are respectful, who make you laugh, you show up on time, who is caring, kind, wise and he might have a weird way he eats or walks, or laughs..or may even have a bit of a small belly, but hopefully you can forgive those kinds of imperfections..

 

Love is not a fantasy, it's takes intentional respectful effort and choices to make it work and last, for now at least try to date at some point, not thinking of every date as the "potential perfect man" for you, but instead, you can learn about others, and learn what life is all about in the dating world.. who knows, you might even fall in love with an imperfect man...

[mitch17]

take ur mind off the problem and take up sports where u will make mates and have a wicked time. i prefer to be single and i wouldnt have it any other way