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I have been looking at this site for quite some time now, and decided I would finally register and post.

 

I am going through a break up. My woman had bipolar disorder, and cheated on me quite a few times. I really fell in love with her, and concreted in cement my loyalty to her, and decided that I was always going to be there to stay. She just recently cheated on me again, and then broke up with me. I was devistated. I am trying so hard this time to move on. I feel like I am losing my best friend, and wonder why this is so easy for her to move on. We have had limited contact since the breakup. She has told me that she is still attracted to me, and its hard not to get physical with me, but then she disapears. She is not seeing anyone. (The cheating thing was a one night stand), we have lived together for 7 years. Any advice how I am supposed to do this right and move on?

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Sounds like a tough situation. You mentioned bipolar disorder, but you didn't mention if she's being treated by a physician. It sounds like she has some issues she needs to deal.

In short, you are doing the right thing by walking away and trying to heal yourself. It sounds like if you stay with her, you're just setting yourself up for heartache. Take time for yourself and find something to get your mind moving and off of the heavy feelings you have right now.

Good luck with all this!

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Thanks. Yes, she is being treated by a physician, but she doesnt take her medicine all of the time. she goes off of it because she is afraid it will make her gain weight, in turn she has been a bit emotionally abusive as well. We did have a lot of fun together too. We had a lot of memories. In the beginning it was great, we were awesome. Over the years, I have to admit I have been unhappy, so why now am I so sad? Our house sold not long ago, so there isnt any ties left anymore. I worry about her. She has other medical conditions, but I just feel like I am treated kind of bad, I want a chance to have a relationship with someone who would show me that they love me. I feel like I have done all of it. The cooking, cleaning.. bills, and then I get nagged at. I dont know what to think. My friends all tell me that she is toxic, and that I put way more in to it than she does, but I really love her a lot.

 

Thanks for listening.

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Aww man, your the best type of guy there is, the one that stays loyal and true. I feel for you bro, I really do. Millions upon millions of women want a man like you. Your probably years ahead of your age, and I know that you'll get through this with a strong heart and your head held high. You did nothing wrong, she has problems yes, but you have a bigger problem; your future. There's a women out there dying to meet you, I know you'll get through this, hang your head high.

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Thanks Layword, That definetly brightened my night. It just feels so dreadful, quiet, and painfully still. She is gone. I have accepted it, and do want it as well. I just miss her so much. When I am around her, I feel the commitment that I had made to her, and she says things that make it harder for me. Yet, when I start NC, then she just goes right along for the ride, making me think that she is fine. I am doing the NC for me, believe me, I was the pathetic begging fool last time we broke up and would have done anything to get her back. This time, I realize that she isnt happy because she keeps cheating on me. I have only been with her, for the last 8 years, its just been her. but she cant say the same about me.

 

I just keep telling myself that everything really will be OK one day.

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im so sorry this is a girls opnion. I honestly to god wish my b/f was like that. If he was i would never cheat on him in which i havent. There is a million girls waiting for a man like you. trust me i know. i am a girl. gots lots of friends too. and they want a b/f that will be there for them, honest and loyal. so just let it go hunnie it will be okay i am going through something similar but not as much and i have cried for a wk or so. you will get through because everyday i have got stronger everyday that passes. much love and take it easy

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I know the feeling, it hurts, and you'll be alright, but you'll feel empty. But that's okay, your an awesome guy. I miss my Ex too, she acts like nothing happened when I "do" speak with her. My heart goes out to you this night, eight years is no joke. But having an affair with another man while she was with you was just wrong and she knew it. You'll come out on top, She gave you 25% you gave 100%. You'll find a girl that will give you 300%. Cheers my friend. Rest easy.

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Im so sorry that you are going through a similar situation cowgirl. You sound like you are honest and true as well with a broken heart. Those tears you are crying are like pieces of your heart. I know that when the storm passes for you then you will see the sun again.

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Those tears you are crying are like pieces of your heart. I know that when the storm passes for you then you will see the sun again.

 

Thank you that is very sincere. My situation is very minor compared to this one but it is teenager love also. So i never could talk to anyone about it b/c no one believed that someone my age could actually love someone. So thank you for the comment. Never had something that sweet said to me. to bad you live in AZ i would find you a nice pretty young lady to be with i would trust in a bank safe and never say a bad word about her haha

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Layword, have you had contact with her? The reason I ask is because I am fighting this battle in my mind. She wants to stay friends and says that we will always be different, that we will always hold something special. I dont know if I can just be friends, and contact is making it very hard. I dont know why I am feeling worried about breaking all contact. I can tell you that she has made it clear, she has said that she doesnt know what the future will bring, but she isnt going to tell me to wait either.

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Well, I dont know If I did the right thing or not. I know that I love her unconditionally, but I really want me back too. I am miserable without her, yet I really was lonely when I was with her. There wasnt much physical contact, and I did most other things for her, but it felt like she forgot about me. Anyway, I have been trying to do NC Since Monday night. Last night when I was about ready to leave work, she sends me a message asking if I forgot about her, am I trying to not talk to her. I just said I had things I have to deal with right now and I dont really know what else to say. She said "Oh, Ok.. Let me know if you need anything". I havent heard from her since.

 

I want to be OK even if she is not around. I want now if we ever do get back together that it wasnt me this time. I need to know for myself if she really loves me, and this is very hard for me because I feel like I am abandoning her, yet I also feel like I am risking losing my best friend forever, but if I really went in to detail how much she neglected me, and I did feel used in a lot of areas, the cheating.. so on.. But I did feel love from her. I know that I did the best I could. I would rub her back every night, plan dates, buy her special presents (she loves presents).. But I just always felt like I was missing the mark. I just need to know once and for all, if she loves me enough to fight for us, I know it must sound bad, but I cant be the one this time. I need to have self worth back, even if it means that I lose my best friend in the process...

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