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No calls. Blah.


zxcvbnm1982
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From reading other posts, I have a similar problem as many other people on here.

Been dating a guy for 2 months. I was fairly sure that I liked him, and he made it no secret that he was into me.

Then, a slight speedbump.

While he's more on the shy side and we've never been big on phone calls, I haven't talked to him in over 2 weeks, with the exception of a stress-ridden email explaining different problems in his life that has kept him from calling after I had contacted him asking what's the deal.

So...what's a girl to do? I don't want to compromise myself by waiting for this (flake?) to be calling. But he seems like someone that would be worth the wait...

Or I'm totally dillusional.

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Well I can't tell if you're dilusional - I haven't met him.

 

But that seems extreme anyway. It seems as though he told you why and you are not accepting it or believing it - is this accurate?

Is there some reason why you have not offered support or to listen to his woes in person? Or have you already done this and he's refused?

 

You could try to open up in email - taking pressure off to see you.

When people avoid others because of "problems" it's usually because they are ashamed of them and don't want people to judge them.

 

This is just a guess based on what I read above - but I could be wrong...

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meh, doesn't sound so good. sounds like a bunch of excuses to me. I think you did the right thing, just flat out asking him what is up. but let's face it, I don't think this is going anywhere. when you are busy and stressed, you ALWAYS take the time to call your SO, if you like them, because talking to them makes you happy. I know that when I was at my most stressed and busy and in a relationship, I always made time for him.

 

so, I think it's a bunch of BS. sorry. I'd just let this one go...

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This may be my bad past experiences talking, but I think that if a guy is into you, he'll call. I mean, two weeks without a phone call?! The conversation could begin with a disclaimer ("Hey, just wanted to see how you're doing, but I can't talk for long...") but even a short call would be nice nonetheless.

 

Don't write him off completely, but don't put all your eggs in his basket. Try to meet other people and dont just focus on him. If it's meant to be, he'll find time. I'm not sure he's good enough for you though, dear, if he can't pick up the phone and call .. at least once a week...

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and i asked if she could simple call me back, leave a message about how she is doing, and i was polite. i was aware that doing that could possibly cause problems for me, but, i am at point in my life where i need some direction from her. i know that if by friday, there is no reply, i will never get one and i have made a vow to myself to stop spinning my wheels and move forward. of course, i want to do so with her but realistically - i have a better chance at winning the lottery. wish me luck folks. big love.

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Next time don't call and ask "what's the deal?" Just let things be... If a guy wants to talk to you, he'll call you. If he doesn't call, you can draw your own conclusions, and asking "what's the deal?" pretty well just sets it up so he can hurt you. IMO.

 

Also, NO GUY after just 2 months is worth waiting for. You should be meeting people, dating, having fun. Okay so you liked him. But it would bother you a lot less if he didn't call for 2 weeks if you'd gone on 4 or 5 other dates in that time!

 

As for the e-mail... My guess is, if he didn't CALL you rather than e-mail to tell you why he can't call you, then he's just not that into you. Next!

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