Anxiety Attacks - boyfriend

[emma34]

Well, right now I'm a little frustrated in myself. See, everything in my life has been going pretty smoothly in the last 4 months... but even still, i stil find myself in crying fits and anxiety attacks every once in awhile. What is troubling me right now is, I'm afraid of scaring my boyfriend.

 

He's been perfect to me, and he is with no doubt the man I want to spend my life with... but this small glitch in my life (the fact that I have anxiety attacks and weird crying fits) neither of us no how to deal with. I've been on medication before, but to be honest, I just don't like to take them, and I feel that it's such a minor thing in my life, I don't want to rely on meds to "make me better"..

 

My best friend of forever and I had a falling out last spring and haven't hardly spoke since...I've dealt with it, but last night I started talking about how I missed her and then BAM...I was nearly throwing up, tensing up, couldn't breathe, sobbing, and then I'd take deep breaths, feel better, and then do it again. Eventually I just fell asleep...my boyfriend mentioned something about how it scares him when I do that, which i understand cause it's very unpredictable...but its just that when i'm having a panic attack or a crying fit, it seems his supportiveness gets totally misinterpeted by me...i get paranoid with thoughts - "he doesn't understand, he doesn't care, etc." I don't really voice these, but last night I started to resent him for "not making it better".. I know this seems really irrational...it's making me feel terrible today.

 

Anyway, guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has had problems where there emotional problems have made them concerned about alienating their partner...otherwise, i dunno...i'm just blue today.

[Alezia]

I know how you feel... it has caused quite some issues in my relationship with my boyfriend. Especially at times were he had no time to see me, exams for examples.

I most likely get these anxiety attacks over issues that I cannot control: ex-bf doesn't want to talk to me anymore, bf dumps me/mad at me etc... I usually end up in sessions of massive eating at the same time to ease the tension.. but I wouldn't recommend this, it does end the anxiety attack but only because of the pure pain of having eaten too much =\

I found personally that accepting that you cannot control some things did help a bit, but it's something I still need to work on. It could be the same for you, since you did mention something about a lost friendship (powerless probably once again)?

[DN]

When you feel an attack coming on, try this breathing exercise

 

Breathe in for a count of four

Hold your breath for a count of four

Breathe out for a count of four

Hold for a count of four and repeat as necessary

 

As you get used to the exercise the count of four can be slower.

 

This exercise regulates the heartbeat and thereforeeee the amount of oxygen to the brain, which helps to relieve stress, reduce anxiety and relax tense muscles.

[jengh]

I can totally relate... I get them ALL the time... though I'm now taking wellbutrin and prozac and xanex and haven't had one in quite some time.

 

If you don't want to medicate, which is great, try stepping outside to get some cold air. that always helps me. Close your eyes, concentrate on relaxing every muscle, starting in your feet and ending up in your head. It sounds dumb but the focus and concentration it takes to do that really really works.

 

And, as DN mentioned, be SURE you're BREATHING! When I really thought about it, during one of my attacks, I realized that I wasn't breathing at all. Try to make a conscious effort to take slow, deep breaths