Suggestions on telling kids about you dating

[ga_dawg_atl]

Hi all. I have been divorced for almost 8 years and have custody of my 9 year old daughter. I have dated plenty of women, but my daughter has never met any of them or known me to "date". She doesn't have any notions that her mother or I will get back together as her mom is remarried. I am wondering how to have a discussion with her that I want/am dating. I just don't want to surprise her with daddy's "friend". Any thoughts. Thanks

[Beec]

Hi all. I have been divorced for almost 8 years and have custody of my 9 year old daughter. I have dated plenty of women, but my daughter has never met any of them or known me to "date". She doesn't have any notions that her mother or I will get back together as her mom is remarried. I am wondering how to have a discussion with her that I want/am dating. I just don't want to surprise her with daddy's "friend". Any thoughts. Thanks

 

First, welcome to enotalone. Hope you stick around some.

 

I think that the concept of you dating is already not foreign to her, since her mother remarried. I also think that you should be a little serious about a woman before they meet. I also don't think that you should be really serious about her before they meet. I'd want their meeting to be part of the process that I went through while dating, in order to figure out if the relationship could work. If my new gf was not good with my child, then I'd need to think.

 

How to do it, would I think just be honest and TELL her. I'm sure she asks how you are at times, etc., or what you have been doing, so sometime tell her you went out with a woman, especialyl if it's not significant. You don't need permission, you don't need to ask, jsut make her aware of it before it's significant, and then, let her know if there is anything important.

 

When the do first meet, keep it fairly short, and fun.

[Day_Walker]

If you arent bringing these girls around your daughter then I dont know if I would tell her anything. If you want to talk about dating with her then just talk about the issue independent of you dating. She will probably connect the two and then you can bring it up that way.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Just when you two are eating dinner and talking ask what she thinks about you and dating.She is young so she may not take it well