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I have fallen in love with my friend


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Please help me out because i have fallen in love with my friend but i dont think she feels the same about me. its so anoying since one day she is very friendly and wants to talk and sit near me then the next day its like she dont know me. its making my mind explode . i am trying to tell her how i feel but i just dont know what to say to her and if she dont wanna know me after i tell her. please help me out!

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Your situation is not an enviable one. You are faced with several possibilities - she could feel the same way you do and by telling her you might create a happy and wonderful relationship. She might not have ever really thought about you in that way, but once you lay out your feelings for her she might suddenly come to realize that she might want to investigate a more romantic relationship with you. You could tell her and she might simply not be interested in you that way. You could tell her and she might not want to be your friend anymore. Certainly, once you tell her how you feel you will never be able to go back to what you have now. Something about telling someone that you love them transforms the relationship forever - it always does.

 

If you do not tell her, then you will have to deal with the fact that you will probably never have anything other than you have now.

 

I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is simple - do you want to be with her in a romantic sense more than you want to be her friend? Are you willing to lose all that you have right now to gain all that you want?

 

I've been in this position before and I've had to make this choice - and sometimes I got what I wanted and sometimes I didn't. And the worst part is that the solution is different for every circumstance. Look deep into your heart and make a choice - do you risk it all in hopes of something greater or keep what you have? It is ultimatly a gamble and one that may not pay off, but it is your gamble and your life and the stakes may be worth it to you.

 

No one can make this choice but you. Search your feelings, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Even if it goes badly, that doesn't mean it was the wrong choice - sometimes grief and loss are necessary chapters in our lives that help us to be better prepared for something in our future - and that tends to be true whether you believe in fate or not.

 

May You Walk with the Balance,

Ender

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