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why do guys DO this???


missmebaby
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well i was supposed to have a date tonight. i met this guy through myspace but never actually met him in person. we have had this date planned for a few days and about 7 hours ago he instant messaged me as soon as I got online and said he was going to ride his motorcycle for awhile and wanted to let me know the date is still on and he will get ahold of me later. well that was 7 hours ago and i havent heard from him and its getting late. i know he was home like an hour and a half ago because he was signed on to myspace. i called him but he didnt pick up and hasnt called me back. i dont understand it at all....we have been talking for the past few weeks and he is always the one that initiates contact. he will call me, instant message me, send me messages through myspace. he has said he cant wait to see me. and hes 25 years old which is 5 years older than me i figured he would be mature enough by now to not stand someone up. he could of at least made up some excuse why he couldnt hang out instead of just ignoring me and leaving me hanging. my best friend said she has had the same thing happen to her a few times before...does anyone have any ideas why guys do this??? whats his deal??

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It's probably NOT an accident... So whatever you do don't panic and start calling him, LOL. If I were in your shoes I'd be unavailable by now, turn off my phone, go take a bath, then go to bed. And if he wanted another chance then he might get one (possibly) but he wouldn't be going on a date with me tonight.

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haha for some guys thats an effective technique. it does many things;

1. he gets to see another side of you that may change his opinion about you

2. adds a twist, now hes hoping that your going to chase him instead

3. women seem to become more interested in a guy that stood her up. it adds a dimension of "curiosity"

and most of all...

4. he gets to brag to all his friends

 

haha, truthfully you never really know what could have happened. id say give him another chance and if he screws up again then he probably isnt worth the time.

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Hey there,

 

I would not call him tonight and make other plans. He blew it for tonight. Seriously. Don't wait around all night for him. I would give him ONE more chance to call you in the next couple of days. If you don't hear from by then, I would call it a wash. Life is too short for waiting around and there are plenty of other guys out there whom love to take you out. You are 20 for goodness sake, go out and have some FUN!!!!

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I agree with this one.

 

I wouldn't bother with giving him a chance or asking him, or anything, it's not ok to stand someone up, period.

 

NEXT!

 

I agree!!!! He totally dissed you, sorry. I think some guys just want to see how many dates they can line up. I don't even know if I would give him another chance, like kellbell suggests. Maybe if he has a REALLY good excuse for not having contacted you, like there was a medical emergency.

 

if his cell phone died, he could have still messaged you. And he can't use the excuse that he was stranded, because you know he signed online.

 

I've met flakey guys on myspace also, and I'd advise you not to give them any more time. make other plans for tonight.

 

In the future, you may want to avoid this by making plans 24 hours in advance. if a guy says that he'll cal you right before to set up plans, tell him that it's better to decide a time and place right then and there.

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It's not all guys - some people are unreliable. He sounds like one of them. Be thankful that you didn't spend more time invested in him. Next time I would not IM or email with someone I had never met more than a few times before having a phone conversation and deciding whether to meet in person and then limiting the phone calls to confirming the plan. No reason to get attached in the least before meeting in person!

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um... i know how you feel... and well im a guy. it goes both ways i was sapose to have a girl call me today about plans for tomaro afternoon, and she said shede deffinatly call me around 6 or 7. its now 11 15 and i feel like ive been duped again, and the sad thign is, shes a close friend so i feel like its even worse, not just sum random guy on myspace so refrane from makeing acusation about guys always being the "bad end of the deal"

 

 

and i apologize for the terrible typing and spelling

 

hope u have better luck than i do

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well i guess i worded it wrong but in no way was i trying to imply ALL guys did this. i just used the word guys because a guy stood me up last night and i was wondering what would make a guy do that.

 

but anyways, still havent heard from him. he still has the same away message up that he had up ALL day yesterday which he never does that he either signs off after a couple hours, comes back, or at least changes his message. i dont know if hes hiding from me or what. i just dont understand how he can sound like he cant wait to see me and talks to me the same day hes supposed to see me and tells me hes going to go ride his motorcycle so if i cant get ahold of him thats why and he'll call me when hes done. and then he doesnt call, answer his phone, nothing.

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well he instant messaged me just now. he started off with just normal conversation like hey whats up blah blah blah. he said lets hang out. so i said nah i tried that yesterday. and he said sorry about that. i went out to eat with my parents. so i asked him if he really did want to meet me or if hes just messing with me and he said he actually wants to. then he was asking me how my day was and stuff like that. i dont know what to do, should i agree to try to meet him again sometime?

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"Sorry about that, I went out to eat with my parents?"

 

Which explains why he left you hanging for hours and hours without having the decency to send you a one-line text message (let alone call and apologize for the change in plan).

 

Geez. I would not agree to meet him again, and I'd pretty well ignore him on IM or the phone or anywhere else. If you agree to meet him again after *that*, you're showing him that you can be walked on like a doormat without any repercussions... even if you DO get in a relationship with him it will only be a bad one for you.

 

NEXT!

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well he instant messaged me just now. he started off with just normal conversation like hey whats up blah blah blah. he said lets hang out. so i said nah i tried that yesterday. and he said sorry about that. i went out to eat with my parents. so i asked him if he really did want to meet me or if hes just messing with me and he said he actually wants to. then he was asking me how my day was and stuff like that. i dont know what to do, should i agree to try to meet him again sometime?

 

No. don't bother. that's a lame excuse.

 

ok, here is my theory of dating: you should treat people you are dating at least as well as you treat your co-workers. For instance, if you have a meeting or dinner planned with a coworker, but you couldn't make it, for whatever reason, you would call and tell them, right away and let them know. Why? because it is unprofessional to do otherwise. And I have said this to a flakey myspace guy I met, I said, "You would never stand up a coworker or a client, so what makes you think it's ok to do that to a date!?!?"

 

The fact is, you need to consider yourself like a client on a date. ie, it's your date's job to show you that they are worthy of your time and business. If someone (male or female) has dinner plans with a client, he or she going to put his best foot forward. ie, show up on time, looking good, and if he needs to reschedule, he'll call and let you know.

 

the "i had to eat with my parents." blah. forget that. NEXT!

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