Ex Called

[THEREALDEAL95]

My ex an I have been broken up for almost a month an a half now. She had not called me since, an I have not called her since. We only talk on an off every once in awhile thru Iming, I let her talk to me first. She called me at 1 in the morning out of the blue just to tell me she had just thought of me because she had just seen a girl that her an I used to joke around was my girlfriend. She asked me to call her back because I did not answer, however I never did. What do you guys think this means? We did not end on a bad note an she told me she has dreams of us getting together later in life.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I don't know - it could be just that she was in a chatty, nostalgic mood and wanted to share a moment with you. Or a bit drunk, if it was one in the morning. I wouldn't read that much into it, to be honest.

 

Are you hoping to get back together? I don't think it's that significant, although it might be. Maybe see if she contacts you again?

 

Good luck!

[THEREALDEAL95]

Ha ya she is always drunk thats kinda why we broke up. If being drunk was the case tho she would call me all the time. I dont really want her back either cuz she is not mature at all. Just kind of weird that we dont talk anymore an she just called me out of nowhere. She has many many friends that she could have called other than me if she was just chatty, cuz I basically told her not to call me.

[friscodj]

My ex an I have been broken up for almost a month an a half now. She had not called me since, an I have not called her since. We only talk on an off every once in awhile thru Iming, I let her talk to me first. She called me at 1 in the morning out of the blue just to tell me she had just thought of me because she had just seen a girl that her an I used to joke around was my girlfriend. She asked me to call her back because I did not answer, however I never did. What do you guys think this means? We did not end on a bad note an she told me she has dreams of us getting together later in life.

 

Well, from my experience, the first couple months after a break up are the toughest. The reality of the separation has sunk in and both people have had some time to sit and suffer with it.

 

Usually if there is a deep connection built up and things end amicably, it can be hard to detach. I don't know the specific details of your relationship or the break up but it sounds like she misses you and wants to take communication to the next level. Maybe she is trying to distance herself and just broke down calling you. Nights are tough as you know. Maybe she wants the knowledge that you are still "there" in her life to make the pain easier for her to handle. That's what I've seen to be the most common reason.

 

But we all can speculate a hundred different ways. If you want a real answer here, you can call her back or IM her and ask her why she called you.

 

But the million dollar question is what do you want? Put your grief, lonliness, and missing her aside and think about it. You broke up for a reason or reasons. Do you want, a) In?, or b) Out?, in terms of a relationships with her. Six weeks post-break up is not a long time if you guys have been together for any appreciable length of time and shared a deep connection. If you want to be real friends to each other, the residual feelings and desires need to be properly processed and organized regarding your roles in each others lives or else weirdness and confusion will result I guarantee it. That takes real time and distance, no IMs, no calls, nothing, especially given her statement about dreams for the future. You both need to see this is really over. Maybe not distant forever, but until you are at a place where you aren't trying to figure out motives and can deal with situations like this without asking for advice from other people.

[Hope75]

So, did you break up because of her drinking problem?

 

How old is this girl?

 

hmm... if she's still drinking and that's why you broke up, it seems to me that your answer is right there- leave things as they are and do not respond.

 

Ask yourself, what would be different this time if she's still up to her same tricks?

 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

[THEREALDEAL95]

She is 20. We did break up because she is a wild party girl right now. I do have feelings for her but I know the same thing would happen again if we were to get back into a relationship anytime soon. I dont want to wait for her to mature either. SO I kind of look at it as if we get back together we get back together, if we dont we dont. I feel like I'am very much over her and our relationship, however she was the best girlfriend I have ever had other than her being a wild party girl she was very true an good to me an always by my side. However I believe shes a very confused girl yet, due to the fact all of her last relationships before me ended in the guys cheating on her. I was also the first guy she had ever dated that did not attend high school with her.

[THEREALDEAL95]

Another thing I did stop talking to her and she started messaging me and I just broke down an wrote back. However if I do talk to her I keep it very professional an light and joke with her. I dont know I think she might be starting to see waht she lost. Thats why I think she called me.

[friscodj]

Dude, have you read your last 2 posts? They are full of contradictions and misguidance.

 

You can see that the same thing would happen again if you got back together yet in the next sentence you say "if we get back together, we get back together, if we don't, we don't". That doesn't make a lick of sense and tells me you don't want to let this go even though you see history repeating itself. This is exactly how people get stuck in situations that make them unhappy.

 

And you're kidding yourself thinking you are "very much over her". If that were the case, you wouldn't be posting here, "breaking down" in your resistance to communicating with you, or even caring about the notion of her "seeing what she lost". And you even say you still have feelings for her!

 

I think you need to figure out what you want as you sound very contradicted, make a decision here and stick to it, and not hide behind the notion of "If it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't". Sack up and take a stand one way or the other.