NC pays....or not ???

[frozenblaze]

Ok, the story is not so important, let's talk about the facts...

 

My ex-gf broke up with me 3 weeks ago, saying she needed to be alone, she felt uneasy in the relationship and told me not to wait for her for she does not want to mess with my feelings, she also told me she would like us to stay friends and I replied to that that it would hurt me more so I should just not try to interfere with her life anymore...

 

Now she really seems sad, and she tells everyone (yeah almost random schoolmates) that she really feels bad about hurting me and the whole situation... and then those people come to me and talk about how she feels bad and how I should talk to her and try to make things better...

 

My opinion is i should continue with NC (2 weeks and 5 days for now, and I still miss her a lot) for it protects me and prevents me from doing anything wrong that might push her away, and it also helps me heal in the case of a hopeless reconcialiation (yeah even if she told me she would'nt get back I'm a stubborn guy...or a hopeless romantic you choose). I really do miss her and love her a lot, I dont think I should break NC even if some people told me to write her a letter of some sort to express what burns inside of me... Well give me some advice for I can't bear to see her depressed like that... she was supposed to be happier without me, well that was what I thought...

[mikeca]

what worked for me is. NC until the day you realize youre fine without her.

 

go, live your life, she will see this, and if she so chooses you will be part of hers again.

[cingar]

hey,

 

i would continue with nc, she broke up with you, so why should you be the one to comfort her. If she really wants to talk to you she will come to you herself. and when and if she does , be honest and nice to her. In the mean time take care of yourself.

[Survictor]

If you are at school together and ignore her then it could bite. After all, she didn't do anything to intentionally hurt you but she could hardly ignore her own feelings to save yours. In fact, it was very honest of her to tell you and save you further pain the longer the relationship went on.

 

I believe that ignoring her, not looking at her etc., is a little immature so in my oppinion, no don't call her, write to her or attempt to converse with her, express your feelings etc, but do nod, smile or say hello or wave as you pass by her.

[valenski]

If she feels guilty, thats her problem, you have nothing to feel guilty about, isnt your broken heart enough to deal with? Dont be suckered by her using her friends to make you feel you should say something to her, she wanted to be alone and thats what she's getting.

Breaking NC is pouring salt into your open wound.

[Survictor]

Of course she would feel guilty knowing that you wanted to invest your feelings in a relationship with her! For her though, it didn't feel right and she was honest with you. She probably feels badly enough knowing you are hurt that she didn't want to have a relationship with you but at least she had respect enough for you and your feelings to tell you that!

[shikashika]

I have foudn NC didn't work for me...

I think for those who were given a reason for their breakup they can move on... but if theyw re given mixed messages and are continued to be given mixed messages NC is pointless..

 

At least it has been for me anyway

[frozenblaze]

Well my plan is to keep on with NC, anyway I don't consider what she said a mixed-message, but then I'll see for myself with time, and beside it may seem immature not to talk to her or even look at her but it hurts me to do so... so why would I even give her any attention... and about those people coming to me and telling me to talk to her I'll probably tell them that I don't want to hear about it... I just find it hard to know that she keeps talking about me now, it's pointless or quite unclear to do so for me... I can talk about her to MY friends for I do miss her, why would she, especially with persons with whom I don't really speak to...