Why do people like jerks

[david90]

I have a group of friends and there is a guy that is a jerk. He always make fun of people and other guys in the group. Another thing is that he is extremely cocky. If he good at something, he'll make sure that you know it. The weird thing is that the other guys in the group likes to be around him and give him respect. He makes a lot of calls.

 

Why does this happen? I've been taught to treat people with respect and they will want to be with you but this guy does the opposite and it is working for him. I guess people like this are more exciting?

[rmpavlock]

My ex was like that. He gave everyone a hard time and they stuck by him always. Have they been friends a long time? Maybe they feel a sense of loyalty if they have or they might just be used to it. Are the other guys in the group like him at all? Perhaps they are intimidated or nervous to speak up.

[xLDx]

Does he have a good sense of humour?

 

I knew a guy who is the cockiest, jerkiest human being on the planet, but he's hilarious. If a person can make you laugh, for some reason when you're around this guy it's hard not to like him, and people do give him respect to his face.

 

Although, when we were apart from him we talked behind his back quite often, but it's not like he didn't do the same to us.

 

I don't know. Some people that you wouldn't think likeable just are sometimes. I think humour has a big part of it most of the time. At least my situation did.

[charley]

Most people don't really like jerks. Most are actually afraid of them. So they pretend to like them to fool the jerk, and also to fool themselves. This then creates the illusion of popularity. Many other sheep are then attracted to the illusion of popularity and thereforeeee want to be around the wolf because they think he's popular.

 

Then again, there is a fine line between nicely teasing someone in a funny way vs being mean. Maybe he stays on the good side of that line? I don't know since I don't know him.

[david90]

Does he have a good sense of humour?

 

I knew a guy who is the cockiest, jerkiest human being on the planet, but he's hilarious. If a person can make you laugh, for some reason when you're around this guy it's hard not to like him, and people do give him respect to his face.

 

Although, when we were apart from him we talked behind his back quite often, but it's not like he didn't do the same to us.

 

I don't know. Some people that you wouldn't think likeable just are sometimes. I think humour has a big part of it most of the time. At least my situation did.

 

 

Yes he does have a sense of humor and his humor ALWAYS revolves around making fun of other people and guys in the group. He makes fun of them in a funny way. So yeah, he'll make fun of you but if he makes you laugh then I guess it cancel out.

 

The funny thing is I actually tried to emulate his personality but it didn't work out for me. People thought I was a jerk (In a bad way).

[musicguy]

I hate jerks and ttry not to be one

[skyjuice]

Yes he does have a sense of humor and his humor ALWAYS revolves around making fun of other people and guys in the group. He makes fun of them in a funny way. So yeah, he'll make fun of you but if he makes you laugh then I guess it cancel out.

 

The funny thing is I actually tried to emulate his personality but it didn't work out for me. People thought I was a jerk (In a bad way).

 

Hi

 

Don't emulate his personality because that is not you.

 

Actually, I dislike people building happiness on other people expenses. May be he has some sort of influence on people.

[xLDx]

Yes he does have a sense of humor and his humor ALWAYS revolves around making fun of other people and guys in the group. He makes fun of them in a funny way. So yeah, he'll make fun of you but if he makes you laugh then I guess it cancel out.

 

The funny thing is I actually tried to emulate his personality but it didn't work out for me. People thought I was a jerk (In a bad way).

 

Alright, so there's one big similarity with the guy I know. First of all, I have a few questions about him before I can make a conclusion.

 

1) Do girls find him good looking? If they don't, and he knows it, then he'll take it upon himself to be cocky about other things (perhaps good marks or success in sports? Probably leaning towards good marks though).

 

2) Are his parents (particularily his dad) similar with that kind of humour? The guy I know has a very sarcastically funny dad, who's more of a friend to him than a father. This guy respects his father because of his humour, and actually emulates it.

 

3) Do your other friends talk badly about him EVER? If they don't, then I'd be a little confused. Maybe they should learn to stand up for themselves too, because then it would be easier for you to do so.

 

These kinds of people put others down to bring up their own confidence. They have strong personalities (usually too strong, and easily become unbalanced. For example, they will become jealous extremely easily). Most of the time, these kinds of people find good friends, but not necessarily friends they will have for the rest of their lives, just because of their strong attitudes.

 

Just learn to shrug him off, because being like him is definitely not what you want to do.

[annie24]

it can be a self-confidence thing. that's one thing that jerks have oodles of. you can work on your self-confidence without becoming a jerk.

 

and I think later in life, some people may get fed up with the jerks and just want to be friends with someone nice and reliable.

[david90]

1. He's ok looking. He is talented and good at a lot of things.

 

2. I don't really know his dad.

 

3. not that I know of.

[xLDx]

I can't really explain the reasons for his behaviour then... Maybe he does it because it knows he can get away with it. Though, it's common that someone with this attitude has something to prove by doing so, and some ulterior motives to attempt to boost his own self-esteem.

 

I'm sure underneath it all, he's not everything that other people thinks he is, and I think he knows it too, and this is just his guise.

 

Beyond that, I can't say much more.

 

You should be proud of who you are though, because you don't want to be someone like him. People like him aren't genuine. Be yourself, and it will all come together for you in the end.

 

Best wishes to you.

[Cloud802]

Well, I understand being cocky a lot because I'm an avid gamer, but the way you talk about him it's like he goes overboard. Like xLDx said, it's probably just a ruse for him because he thinks is makes him look cool and gets him friends, at least in his point of view it does.

 

Just don't worry about him unless he's reeming on you, and for God's sake don't try to be like him.

[david90]

I tried to be like him and made a bad first impression on some people in one of my college classes. Some of the people in my class are aloof when I try to talk to them. I did a social experiment and it didn't go well. I guess life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

 

What are some ways I can change the bad first impression that I've made on the people who are in my college class?

[Cloud802]

A big first step would be to just tell those people what really happened straight up. Basically, try to give them a "Second First Impression." Walk up to them and say, "I'm really sorry, I tried to be something I'm not and ended up being a butthole, hopefully you can forgive me."

 

Something along the lines of that, and if it doesn't work then at least you know you tried.